At C-Stone.  Back in a week.

Hope you all have a grand week without me 😉

Godspeed.

-Jason

1 day to cornerstone….

yeah, I’m not inspired to write this weekend for some reason.

Satan is dead.  Rejoice.  (Satan as in a dog named Tara, which was far too old and was living by some terrible means which only come have come from the pits of Hell.  Or something like that.)

I found my watch. It was sitting in a drawer under my bed. It has been there for like… probably 2 weeks now. I don’t know how it got there. Today I just decided… that’s it, I’m going to find it. I knew it was somewhere in my room, because I would hear the alarm go off at 10:52 every day (yes, the alarm is actually set for 10:52. no, i don’t know why i didn’t just set it for 10:50.) and i would also hear it beep on the hour. So I searched EVERYWHERe… and found it. I was happy. I can look at my watch again.

All in all, today has been a pretty good day… :). Ah…

You know what’s funny about this whole “unconstitutional” thing with the seperation of church and state? The closer you get to when the constitution was written, the more unconstitutional this country was being. I mean goodness, they were READING THE BIBLE in schools when the constitution was first written…… and all that PRAYING that was going on in schools for such a long time… wow, I’m sure glad they caught that one. I think we should all be pretty thankful that courts nowadays understand what this constitution is saying, whereas the people that WROTE the constitution were clearly unaware of what it actually meant. Oh wait, except the phrase “seperation of church and state” isn’t in the constitution. So I would like to tell every idiot in this country that has ever said God in school or public is unconstitutional to SHUT UP. Go read the constitution, and then you can talk to me. It came from a letter that… I think it was Jefferson (I could be wronng, some president..), wrote. It was as to why he wouldn’t declare a national day of prayer. It was HIS opinion, it was NOT an official government declaration… it was a frigging letter. It’s amazing the things that people can be made to believe. 😛

Go read up on it, everything I’ve said here can be verified, I know it because last year I did a speech on it in my senior english class… the fact of the matter is, seperation of church and state does not exist.

Stupid, stupid, stupid…. 😛

1:30 a.m… that means it’s officially 3 days to Cornerstone!

So anyway, stuff is catching me off balance… but that’s ok I guess… I’m learning to deal with it.

I’ve been getting some weird reactions from some people lately… heh.. like last night, when I was driving home….  some kid looked out the window of the car he was in (by “kid” I mean someone essentially my age, potentially a couple years younger) and like… gave me this really weird look and just looked at me.  Like his head was fully out the window and it turned to look at me as they passed me as I slowed down to make my turn.  Weird.  I didn’t realize I was that interesting to look at.

There were some more, but I’m done with writing for now, gonna get ready for sleep.  Expect another post sometime after I wake up.

Godspeed.

4 days to Cornerstone…

ok, I am feeling much, much better today. That is a good thing.

So yesterday, shortly after my post… I totally roke my glasses… like they’re in bad shape. I was wearing them in the morning, and right before I posted, I took them off, and laid them on the edge of my bed, and then I put in my contacts. I then sat down and wrote the post. Then I decided I was going to lay down and watch some tv… but I forgot about the fact that my glasses were on the edge of the bed. So I walk over, glance at the bed real quick, completely overlook them, put my knee on the edge of the bed to get in….. *cruch*…. hmmm…. Yeah, my knee went like right smack in the center of them, and like all my weight was on them. I don’t think I’ll be wearing them again anytime soon. Oh well.

Also, my post the other night, yeah, that was my perspective, it still is my perspective, she seems to think it is slightly off… i don’t know what she disagrees with but.. *Shrugs*.. it doesn’t matter. The point of my writing this is simply this. While I left her name out of it, some of you may have made an assumption, and some of you may have seen the post on her site that would have given it away… so I want to just say that she really is a great person and definately don’t see her in any kind of a negative light as a result of my post. Anyone who has met or come into contact with her has been extremely privelaged to do so….

and ummm… yeah… I like this song.

“Making young girls pine
I don’t have the time
Babies get in line
I’ve got a protractor
Got a stapler now
it goes “Ka-ching”
gotta have the math club crown me king
gotta rock the screen with the cosine graphing
on my calculator
If you’re up
and if you want
a piece of me
wave goodbye and blow a kiss
‘Cause you can’t handle this

chorus
No, No, No
you can’t handle this.

Through my glasses glare
you’ll see savoir faire
beneath my icy stare
I’ve got a retainer
Maybe I’m the physics main event
maybe I’m the chem club president
maybe even Texas Instruments
thinks that I’m coplanar
If you’re up
and if you want
a piece of me
wave goodbye and blow a kiss
‘Cause you can’t handle this

bridge
And Leonard Nemoy
can’t stand up to this
And Captain James T. Kirk
bows beneath my fists
And I am awesome
awesome
I am the awesomest.”
-“You Can’t Handle This,” by fif

The end.

[edit: ummm…  i just was thinking… and this is kind of pointless but umm…  you know how people use the phrase “the greatest thing since sliced bread”?… well umm… I wonder how long it was between when they invented bread, and when someone said “hey, we could cut this into slices instead of cramming a full loaf down our faces!”..]

Still 5 days to Cornerstone.

Nerf Crotchbats… more fun then regular crotchbats! haha… that was great… good old saturday night live.

So today looks like it will be a pretty exciting day. Elliot is supposed to come over sometime and help me set up the tent so we can put seam sealer on it. Cuz you know… sometimes it helps to not have your tent leak while at Cornerstone. For those of us who like to change clothes and not be wet while we’re there, anyway. I’d imagine it wouldn’t effect Nick much either way.

Anyway, then we might watch Zoolander… since he has somehow managed to have STILL not seen it.

So yeah, as you can see, it’s actually a pretty boring day, because those are my only plans until tonight. Oh well… what can ya do?

Feeling better then last night…. at least, during the times when I can get my mind off of it…

5 days to Cornerstone…

First off, to everyone who commented and gave me props on the last post… thanks much.  It’s nice to like… write someting that’s on my mind and get actual feedback…  usually that doesn’t happen, but, yeah.  So you all rock hard.  As for those that didn’t prop or comment.. well…  i’m sure you probably rock too… just not quite as hard as the people that did.

So yeah… today…  i dunno.. i have mixed feelings about it.  On the one hand, I went to the movies… the movie was decent (note: if you go to see The Bourne Identity, don’t expect anything great.)  Hung out with some friends, it was a pretty good time I’d say. 

On the other hand, I apparently made one of my friends (not of the people i was hanging out with, this was before then) pretty ticked off at me.  I can’t say I really know how.  she teased me in a way which kind of annoyed me, I got annoyed, she said she was sorry, i said ok, and we carried on.  shortly thereafter I was giving her a hard time about something and apparently it annoyed her.  I explained that I wasn’t really being serious, and said I was sorry, and the conversation didn’t carry on.  she informed me that she didn’t feel like talking anymore.  So, since I was leaving in 10 minutes anyway, I said ok, talk to you later, and, did the friendliest goodbye I could manage….  I check my e-mail, check this site….  several minutes pass, I look back into that screen and she is still on.  I ask something to the effect of “you forget to leave? :)”, to which I get a no.  So I say “oh, i thought you were leaving?”  no response….. there continued to be no response.  So in the silence I start to think it over.  Hmm, she’s still on, she definately doesn’t appear to be getting ready to leave, and she’s here and not responding to me……  it clicks.  so I say…. “oh… I see.”  At that point my mood dropped pretty well to near as bad as it can get.  So shortly after that she confirms what I figured out in my head….  “I just didn’t feel like talking”.  Obviously, the understood but left out part of this sentance makes it… “I just didn’t feel like talking (to you).”  Let me tell ya, there’s nothing quite like having a really good friend tell you that one.  It makes you feel like just slightly less then pond scum.  Honestly, it hurt.  I don’t know what I did to deserve that.  I mean, I certainly didn’t intentionally try to make her feel bad, and what I said was absolutely no worse then what she had said to me just a little before then.  I just don’t understand why her sorry was immediately good enough for me, but mine apparently wasn’t good enough for her.  I’m not mad at her or anything like that.  I am exactly what I said I was….  hurt.  I seriously try my absolute hardest, and then I do some little stupid minute thing…  like here it is… the reason why she got upset with me…..  because I was giving her a hard time about not commenting or leaving eprops on either of my last 2 posts.  Honestly, the reason I did it?  She constantly complains if I don’t give her eprops, or about how she doesn’t get enough eprops…  so I find it amusing to give her a really hard time if she doesn’t comment here.  I don’t know.  I don’t care who is right, or who is wrong.  For all I care I can be fully in the wrong on this one…  all I know is that it really hurts… and it really sucks when she’s ticked at me…. especially when it’s over some little thing like this.

I guess I did a pretty job at hiding it tho.  Nobody I went to the movies with seemed to notice.

*sighs*…

[addition to original post: have some more thoughts to add.   I felt pretty retarded in addition to the whole being hurt thing when I figured out she just didn’t want to talk to me as well.  Because, well, when I thought she was leaving, you know, I did this whole “oh, well, I probably won’t be on later because I’ll probably be out late tonight, but, you can e-mail me if you want…” thing.  Yeah, well that’s just great.  I can only imagine what was going through her mind there… probably something to the effect of “yeah, right… that’ll happen.”  So yeah, that made me feel pretty dumb.  Also more reason behind why it really totally bummed be out…  and this is something that on it’s own.. kinda bugged me… but it’s one of those things where when it happened I was just like “you’re reading too much into this…  just don’t let it bug you” and so I didn’t.  But then when something else happens I start to let it bug me too.  Anyway, this happened last night…  in that, I was talking to her….  and she says she has to leave, and she gives some reasons why she has to leave, which seemed to be perfectly good reasons, just, she hadn’t been on very long… and i wanted to talk more, so i try to convince her to stay.  Anyway, eventually, it becomes apparent that she is going to leave, so I’m just like.. ok, goodbye, goodnight.  you know?  Then she says something like “oh, *instertsomeguy’snamehere* just got on, maybe i’ll stay then”… and she stays for another hour or so.  Gee, well, I feel important.  So whereas he apparently is worth staying up and talking to, I am not.  Or well, that’s the message it sends to me.  Yeah, I’m glad I got to talk to her more… but it sure sucks when you feel like you’re serving as a side conversation.  Again, I don’t know… maybe she would have stayed anyway, even if said guy hadn’t gotten on.  But that comment that said otherwise certainly made me feel differently.

Anyway, this post isn’t directed toward her at all, nor is it really directed toward anyone else so much as it is just me venting my thoughts….. just thought I should say that…  and.. that’s about it.]

6 days to cornerstone…

“If Jesus Christ is true,
then I am mostly lies.
If Jesus Christ is love,
Then I have failed to try.
If Jesus Christ is life,
Then please, just let me die.
Let… this… die…” -fif

Ever since the first time I heard those lines of that song, I thought they were great.  Yeah, the song’s been out for awhile now… you’d think if I was going to write anything about it I would have done it long ago by now, but… that’s ok.  I have nothing else to write about, and in listening to it just a moment ago I decided I would write about it.

The song is called Eulogy.  If you want full lyrics click here.

Now, what I want to try to write about more then just what the song is about, is how I can really identify with a lot of the aspects of it, especially the lines that I quoted… which, of course, is why I quoted them rather then other lines ;).

To me, the song is about being normal, and everyone thinking you’re something great, something above the norm.  Then of course you try to live up to those expectations.  You try to be the perfect Christian, or whatever.  And a lot of the time you can succeed in at least putting up the appearance…. but you aren’t, you can’t be.  Eventually you will screw up, and when you do, the people that were holding you up to be great are very likely to stumble (“the murky sea is black / so dismal and so deep / millstones rocket through the dark / into it’s icy keep / a resting place for broken ships / a cemetery for the humble / no one’s here to make you stumble”).  It’s like you try so hard to “be an example” and everything, but you just can’t….  and you know you can’t, and so there’s humility there.

And I think that the part I quoted earlier, really deals with this being an example, trying to show people Christ’s love without becoming a substitute of Christ to them.  People need to understand that you are not any different then they are.  You do stupid things, you mess up, you hurt people.  And it’s all very true…. compared to the truth of Jesus Christ, I am mostly lies… and compared to His love, I haven’t even tried.

I think it’s a pretty frustrating thing when you can’t get a person to see past you to the One that enables you to live as you do.  “If Jesus Christ is Life, then please just let me die.”

Yeah, I can identify with a lot of what he was feeling when he wrote that song….

7 days to Cornerstone…

“What did the digital clock say to his mother?”

“Look ma, no hands!”

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Ah, the jokes we find on popsicle sticks…..

*wipes tears from his eyes*….

Take the Which Wonder Years Character are you? quiz by Ben.