So I’ve been slacking on my site.  So what?!  what are YOU gonna do about it?! 😉

Yeah, I dunno why I haven’t updated.  I have had time to, I just haven’t.  Oh well.  It’s not like it’s actually important in any way…  I think all you 7 people who read this can go a few days without reading anything I have to say.

So the last couple of hours I have been playing The Sims…  no, I am not addicted to the game, I actually don’t think it’s all that much fun… after a few hours it’s actually just plain boring… but anyway… to the point…  how much easier would it be if when you interacted with people, etc, if they had the little “+’s” and “-‘s” over their heads…. that would help out a lot I think….  and the hearts and so forth.  We could just get around all the guesswork and uncertainty 😉  and plus people wouldn’t make incorrect assumptions (really people…  it’s not hard to make CORRECT assumptions…  at least, when it’s in regards to other people, and not yourself…  I mean, I have a flawless record ;))  Anyway though…  it seems like I have to be really careful with what I say or do to keep other people from thinking there is something more then there is.  Of course, in many cases I can just tell them no, they’re wrong.. but.. *shrugs*.  This isn’t really a huge problem I’m having right now or anything…  just…  some stuff has happened in the last day or so that brought it to mind.

Anyway, this is our first long weekend… hopefully I’ll get to go to the beach….  I like beaches.  They are what makes florida wonderful.

I also have randomly become moderately sick…  and the last 2 days it has rained and kept me from running.  Stupid Florida weather.

I know this was choppy.. but umm.. i’m tired, so, you can get over it 🙂

Have a great day.

Godspeed.

It’s amazing the condition you can allow yourself to get into and not even notice that there is a problem.  This week I have sort of reorganized my life.  I made a lot of realizations of stuff that has been sort of skewed in my life…  and today in chapel was sort of the completeion of that.

You know, honestly, a month ago if someone would have asked, I would have answered, and honestly answered (and people did ask, and I did answer) that I was doing perfectly all right with God and with my life in general.  As is turns out, I was wrong.  This week I have become closer to God then I have been in awhile.  And now that I am there, I can see a huge difference in being there, and in being where I was.  God has just been using every event in my life recently, whether good or bad, to bring me into the place I should be.  And I am very glad for that.  It is good to be in this place, because I truly have a joyful spirit right now, and it’s good to feel God’s presence… when you’re writing e-mails… or comments on your xanga site… or just going about your day.  But especially in the writing stuff.  Because then you are more prone to say the right and correct things.  Or at least, I think so.

I just have to say…  never think you know what is best for your life over what God has for you.  If you tell God essentially that you have found what you want, and don’t want anything else, because you can’t imagine anything better, then that closes you off to pretty much everything God has for you.  And believe me, what God has for you is infinitely better then anything you can possibly imagine.  By all means, pursue your desires… but always approach it saying “God, if this is your will, then let it happen… if it’s not, I’m willing to let it go.”  God wants to give you the best… don’t be afraid to let him.

I hope you all have a wonderful day.

Be blessed.

“Here I am waiting, abide in me I pray.
Here I am longing, for You.
Hide me in your love, bring me to my knees.
May I know Jesus more and more.

Come live in me,
All my life, take over.
Come breathe in me,
And I will rise, on eagle’s wings.”

-“Eagle’s Wings,” (no idea who wrote it :))

Who’s Your 80s Movie Icon Alter-Ego? Find out @ She’s Crafty

(figures 😉  I liked that movie a lot… ‘cept for 2 scenes…. 1 because of bad acting and once because of a lot of unneccesary nudity… anyway, kinda agree with it… except… I don’t consider myself “painfully shy”… quiet, yes… but not painfully shy 😉  80’s movies rock.)

hey there.

*crams his face with applesauce*…

I am quite hungry, because I missed lunch today.  Why?  It is not important.  All that matters is… I missed it, and am therefore hungry.

mmmm… applesauce….

anyway, so today has been pretty good… although there was some unpleasantness at the start.  Darn having to wake up at 7:15 so you can go eat breakfast and then get to an 8 o’ clock class… which means you only got about 5 hours of sleep, only to go outside and discover that it is pouring rain….  made the trip all the way from South Apartments to the cafeteria in said rain, and being completely soaked by the time I got there….  then of course I had to go to the class, and of course, it was still pouring rain.  I was very wet, and very cold.  I am dry now.  Dryness is happiness.

My whole getting a job thing is looking promising….  I applied at Bennigans, and they are having me come in tomorrow at 3:30 for a second interview.  So if you have a moment and think about it, pray about that…  it would be awesome if I had a job by tomorrow night ;).  I can’t wait to have like… actual money.

Chapel today was again quite cool….  I am going to post a lot more on that topic later though… probably tonight… so I will just leave it at that for now.

I hope all you readers of my site are doing well.

Godspeed.

Another day, another post….

So this has been a pretty interesting week.  Not really in a good way, but… I dunno… most of it hasn’t been in a bad way either.  Kind of a little of both, I guess.

However, it did all start BECAUSE of a really bad thing.  But I think a lot of good has come from it, in my life, personally.  I am still far from happy about the fact that it happened, and wish it hadn’t, and I’m still hoping that it will get resolved…  but I am at this point changed because of it, and I believe that the change is for the better.  I would like to once again thank everyone who I talked to concerning the matter….  while I don’t think any of you really read this too often….  you made the change possible, because I never would have figured a lot of this out without your insight….  and while a lot of it still doesn’t make sense to me.. i guess that’s ok.

The thing that has made me the most comfortable about this situation… and the reason I am not like…  as bummed out and stuff as I think people would normally expect… is because I have really seen the hand of God at work this week…. which is really what has made it so interesting.  It has been a bit of a while since I have really seen God move in my life… and I think maybe this whole thing had a lot to do with Him getting my attention.  That doesn’t make it any easier, but I believe that God can heal that which has been broken…  and I also know that I will not fall into the same place I was beforehand if this were to work out.

“I guess the cup is only useful / for the hollow of it’s shape / the brokenness in me is the need that holds Your grace”

So the only problem is from here I don’t yet know where to go.  I have kind of a complete lack of patience….  and having to wait for someone else to make a move can be pretty hard for me.  and there’s also always the potential that I could have to decide based on this moment…  there is no guarentee that another move will be made.  Not that I really get that much of a choice at that point… but there is a bit of one to make.

Through much prayer, I am stronger today then I was yesterday….

“You slipped from my arms, I knew you had to go.
Such a heavy heart, who could hope to hold?
And I know where you’re going, and that’s the hardest part.
No matter where tonight ends, you won’t escape your broken heart.

Stay a while.

Helpless for the words, and it tightens up the air.
It’s not what you deserve, it’s not for lack of care.
Inside of me is screaming out, I’m praying for my prayers.
Distracting and unworthy of each and every burning tear.
Seems insincere.

Do I see God in all of this? Maybe all along.
It’s just that we’re so small, and simply not as strong.
Strong like wings of silver, and feathers made of gold.
To carry heavy hearts, to cover all our helpless souls.

To cover all of us.

Under wings of Gold and Silver, sometimes we have to hide.
For shelter from this bitter winter, at least tonight.

(If it were mine to give I’d give you your own time
Turn it back or forward whatever you decide)

Stay a while.”

-“Gold and Silver,” by Stavesacre

Onto new topics… but first, more people to add to the “you rock” list ;)….

First off, thanks to Karissa Arnold for talking to me all the way from Germany 😉  Was a grand conversation and it was great to talk to you after such a long time of… not talking to you.  Thanks for the insights, and yes, it helped.  And also thanks to Elliot for the posts here on Xanga.  I’m sure I’ll talk to you about it eventually. 😉

Anyway, nobody worry about me being tooo terribly down if you are.  I am certainly capable right now of enjoying myself, going out, and having fun, and stuff like that.  Yeah, there is definately hurt there… and a lot of it… and I will be all right, whatever the outcome…. it is just a matter of whether or not I end up minus a friend, which would certainly not make me happy.

That being said, allow us to move on to another topic.  School starts today.  In fact, the first chapel of the year is in 30 minutes.  It should be good.  I woke up at 8 a.m. today for no apparent reason… it is really weird… I haven’t been able to sleep in recently.  Oh well, otherwise I would have woken up at 8:30 anyway… can’t very well skip the first day 🙂  Actually, really and truly, I want to go.  And after that I get a bit of a break before I have to go to my first 2 classes….  Western Civ at 12 and College Algebra at 1. Both very exciting classes 😉  Actually history is pretty interesting…  and Algebra is pretty easy… I don’t even know why they’re making me take it.  I would take a harder math class if they would just let me ;).  And they’re consecutive… so I can do it and have the whole day over with.  That was what I hated about last year… a class, hour break, another class, hour break, another class, hour break, etc, etc….  took forever to actually be done with classes 😉

[edit: oh!  i almost forgot about Jon.. he is also added to the list of people who rock ;)]

“Hello, good morning, how you do?
What makes your rising sun so new?
I could use a fresh beginning too
All of my regrets are nothing new.

So this is the way that I say I need You.
This is the way that I’m
Learning to breathe,
I’m learning to crawl.
I’m finding that You and You alone can break my fall.
I’m living again, awake and alive
I’m dying to breathe in these abundant skies.

Hello, good morning, how you been?
Yesterday left my head kicked in.
I never, never thought that
I would fall like that.
Never knew that I could hurt this bad.

So this is the way that I say I need You.
This is the way that I say I love You.
This is the way that I say I’m Yours.
This is the way, this is the way that I’m

Learning to breathe,
I’m learning to crawl.
I’m finding that You and You alone can break my fall.
I’m living again, awake and alive
I’m dying to breathe in these abundant skies.”

-“Learning to Breathe,” by Switchfoot

So if you want to know what my last 2 posts were about, send me an e-mail.  I’m not going to mention anything really here… except that I reacted rather rashly to this situation at first, but as time goes on I am dealing better and better….  and according to Karen at least, I am doing very well…. so that kind of makes me feel better….. (btw, Karen Dondzila is also quite awesome, and if she is reading this… then thanks to her 😉  she rocks.)  Please, if you know what this is about or think that you know what this is about, if you want to try to help, do NOTHING but come and talk to me.  You can send me an e-mail, if you know my number you can call me….  but… don’t do anything on my behalf.  To those who have not received my school number yet but had the number last year…. the area code and first 3 digits are the same, the last 4 digits are 5377.

Godspeed.

“So this is odd
The painful realization that all has gone wrong
And nobody cares at all.
And nobody cares at all.

So you buried all your lover’s clothes
And burned the letters lover wrote
But it doesn’t make it any better
Does it make it any better?
And the plaster dented from your fist
In the hall where you had your first kiss
Reminds you that the memories will fade.

So this is strange
This sidestepping has come to be a brilliant dance
Where nobody leads at all.
Where nobody leads at all.

And the picture frames are facing down
And the ringing from this empty sound
Is deafening and keeping you from sleep
And breathing is a foreign task
And thinking’s just too much to ask
And you’re measuring your minutes
By a clock that’s blinking eights.

This is incredible.
Starving, insatiable.
Yes this is love for the first time.
Well you’d like to think that you were invincible.
Yeah, well weren’t we all once
Before we felt loss for the first time?
Well this is the last time.”

-“The Brilliant Dance,” by Dashboard Confessional

I once thought that I was the problem….

          ….i was decieved.

“That wound will never fully heal. He will carry it the rest of his life.”

-Gandalf the Grey

I would just like to say that Lisa Dondzila is the coolest person ever…. so ummm… yeah.

Thank god for good friends….

Lisa, if you happen to see this… thanks much… you rock 😉

Hey!  I am at school now… so far everything here is looking pretty great.  Am in an on campus apartment this year… and it is more then I had hoped for.  We still have boxes and crap in our room, yet there is still PLENTY of space.  Tons of storage space too, we’ve been trying to figure out how we could possibly use it all… as opposed to last year when we were trying to figure out how we could possibly get half our stuff to fit somewhere ;).

So anyway, I’ve been pretty neglectful of commenting on other people’s sites… but I got around to a few of you…  and stayed on top of one or 2 ppl’s…  but I’ll start that up again now that I’m at school.  So you will all hear from me soon.

Godspeed.

Well, this week kind of went by fast. At least, it’s really weird to think that I’m leaving the beach and heading to school tomorrow morning. I just figured I’d let you guys know what was going on. Don’t expect any posts tomorrow… but I should have a new one up sometime on sunday.

Godspeed.

“(Your tradition)
I’m getting so sick of creating this music to please you
The way it used to be is the very thing that blinds you.

That’s why you can’t see my God move
‘Cause this is not then, and I’m not like you.

(Damnation)
Your excuse for good advice. Their mouths are wide, but you feed them lies
(Reputation)
You’re full of indecency. You are exactly the portrait they painted you to be.

Stereo Child

That’s why you can’t see my God move
‘Cause this is not then, and I’m not like you.

You refuse to speak, and they’ll listen.

But I won’t be predicted.
I won’t be your stereo.
I won’t be predicted, never.”

-“StereoChild,” by Dead Poetic