All right, so apparently for some reason I promised a decent update sometime this weekend…. and this my friends… this is my attempt to deliver.

I have had a lot of things on the mind this past week or so, and so I am not really sure exactly what direction I am going to go with this post… I may ramble on about completely unrelated things…. or I might tie a few things together… or have enough to go on on one thing that I will tire of writing before I get onto anything else…. so that being said.. consider yourself warned ;).

“Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace.”

-Romans 8:6-7


I read that last night just prior to going to sleep. I have been thinking about how so much of the time I don’t trust God. And the issue I think is a total lack of any real faith. And I don’t think I am alone in that at all. I think there are so many people in the church who have little to no faith at all. What we have is just a cheap substitute….

What is the secret to faith? I don’t know. But I do know that there is faith to be had, and that I desire it and long for it more then anything else. I want the faith of a cripples and blind men, who we may think have so many reasons to be angry at God, and yet they have absolute trust in Him. In my thinking… I was thinking… what do I want people to think when they think of me? what do I want people to remember me for? and if I could choose anything, then that would be, for my faith.

And it is from there that I think everything else comes together. It is then that we are able to be distinctively different from the people around us. And it is then that they will be willing to listen. It is then that we stop making excuses for doing what WE want to do, and instead follow God’s leading through faith. Who cares what happens in life so long as we serve God’s purpose and ultimately end up with Him? Have you ever sat and thought how little room you really have to complain, etc? And every is different, some people who read this may have some serious health issue, or whatever. Most of us do not. Most of us here in America live relatively great lives. So so what if you don’t have a girlfriend, or that girl that you like(d) is dating someone else? Does it really matter? God will supply what you need.

I think that it also has a lot to do with where your focus is. You can have a postitive focus, or a negative focus. I have for a very long time been terrible about focusing on the negative. 100 things can go right in a day, and 1 thing go wrong and i end up obsessing over the thing that went wrong and being bummed out. I think that a person could be living the most blessed life ever and be depressed because of a negative focus, and that a person could be living an absolutely miserable life and be perfectly content and at peace if they focus on the positive. And of course, to focus on the things of God brings us even further.

I also think of friends. Sometimes, you end up hardly ever seeing certain people. Why that is, I don’t know. I guess they get caught up in their own lives, and kind of forget about you. And it always seems like people always say it’s stupid when people do that, until something happens where they end up doing it themselves. And I’m not going to say that I won’t be that way, because I probably will, you know? But I hate it, and I will try not to. But the thing is this… though all your friends forget you, God will not forget you. He is always there, even when you don’t want Him to be.

I don’t know. This is the kind of stuff I have been thinking about. And hopefully that all kind of followed a theme and made sense to you… and wasn’t just a bunch of incoherent rambling.

Tomorrow I have class, and it’s getting pretty late, though. so I am going to go to sleep now.

Be blessed.

[Edit: So there is forgotten, and then there is blown off, which I believe I may have just crossed the boundaries of. Fun times. That’s ok, I’ll go do something awesome later. Once I get this stupid class out of the way… ;)]

Sometime I need to get around to updating that picture. It’s pretty old. And… yeah 😉

I keep having stuff that I want to write about… like just realizations about stuff that I have come to and all.. but then when I finally get around to actually writing it.. I realize… I’m too tired to. It’s weird… like this whole week I have just had like… realization after realization…. which is weird, since I’m really not used to that.

But it is a very cool thing. Maybe I will share some of these with you tomorrow. Not many people seem to read this on the weekends anyway. So yeah.

Have a great day.

So I think I will write a review of sorts on the new Brave Saint Saturn cd. Just because I feel like doing it… gives me something to do.

So here it is.

Review of Brave Saint Saturn – The Light of Things Hoped For…

All in all, this album is definately better then the first album. It is heavier musically, no longer the acousticy stuff that was on the last album… with the exception of one or 2 songs. However, it is very much like the former album in terms of subject matter. It deals with the darker side of things, but it is not depressing at all… It really is very encouraging… and the message of hope that Reese put into the album comes across very clearly. It is just an extremely encouraging cd.

It starts off with the prologue, which sort of sets the stage and the tone of the cd. I thought that the instrumental tracks were really cool, and a nice touch. They were very well done.
The first real song is The Sun Also Rises, which is one of the most upbeat songs on the album. Is a great album starter, and it foreshadows the ending of the album with it’s message of hope.

“I believe the Sun also Rises / Dries our tears / Bringing the blue skies of day…”

Next up is binary, which has changed a good deal from the old live version that was on the Brave Saint Saturn website. While I liked the old version better at first, this one has already grown on me, and I love it. One of the highlights of the cd. It is another song about Reese’s ex-fiance. I think it is some of the best lyrics that he has ever written.

“You hide behind your broken wings / Your dreams are all for better things / And in the dark we climb this slope / ‘Cause the bravest thing of all is always hope / Goodbye, goodbye…”

Next up is Mercury, an instrumental, which is followed by Enamel… which is another song about Christy (the ex-fiance). It is an extremely harsh song (full lyrics are in the last post on this site)… but an extremely good song. Another highlight of the album. An interesting note is that in the line “So here’s to me saying ‘fare-thee-well’, and when you hear this song, i hope it hurts like hell”, that last word there was censored… apparently by Tooth and Nail. If you listen closely though… you can still hear it being said… VERY low in the mix… and I think only in the left channel. I never would have heard it though if I wasn’t listening for it. The uncensored version of this song will be available one the Brave Saint Saturn website. Stupid Tooth and Nail…

“Enamel, is stretched too thin / You’re beautiful, but not beneath your skin…”

Following this song is a song about his current fiance, Stacie. It is called Anastasia, and it is a very pretty song. There’s really not much else to be said about it, it’s a really pretty love song. And I like the line that makes reference to a song on the last album… for some reason I love it when bands do that 😉

“When Anastasia smiles / the world is getting lighter / when Anastasia wakes / the lights come on inside her / and stars will light the path for her tonight / and yes, the moon is burning oh so bright / Anastasia…”

Next on the album is actually my least favorite song, though I like it better now then when I first heard it. And it did get a laugh out of me the first time I heard it just because of the movie clip played at the very beginning of it. Is a clip from War Games, which says “Would you like to play a game?” That was a great movie 😉 Anyway, the song is called Titan. Some people have said it sounds like Skillet. I’ve gotta say… I don’t hear the resemblance. I do agree that it is kind of Linkin’ Park-esque though. Anyway, yeah. It’s a decent song, but definately not the greatest.

Next is another instrumental… followed by Estrella, which is best explained by just typing out what Reese wrote in the liner notes… “This song is about a dear friend of ours, Matt Estrella. Matt suffered from a genetic disease called Neufibromatosis 2, which causes tumors to grow on the myelin sheaths of the outer nervous system. Eventually, the tumors will cause the nerves to stop functioning. Our friend Matt was deaf when we met him. He was losing his sight, and a lot of feeling in the other parts of his body. The tumors were large, and very noticeable in some places. He was almost the same age as I was, but I was living an amazing life for any 25 year old, while he carried this enormous and hideous burden. It seemed that any time I began to complain to God about what I felt was fair or unfair, somehow i would see he never did. His faith was beyond measure, and that is why I loved him. Last spring he died while undergoing an operation to remove one of his many tumors. This is just some stupid song I wrote in the basement. It will never make up for what is missing from this world now that Matt Estrella is gone from it… but it is the best that I could do. Shalom my friend… we will see you again. –Reese Roper- February 4, 2003”

I have known people kind of like that, though not to that extreme… that they have so many reasons to be mad or upset at God.. or feel cheated by him…. and yet they have so much more faith then I do that it really puts me to shame. Thank God for them…

“The angels wings will cover you tonight / Hallelujah / Press your head against the breast of Christ / Hallelujah…”

Heart Still beats is a song that Dennis wrote and does the vocals of, and it shows that he is also a talented writer and vocalist. It’s basically a song about human need. And sometimes seeing that need, and not knowing what you can do about it… It is a powerful song. It was also censored, which really ticks me off in this case, because it ruins the effectiveness of the song, and the entire point of the line. Here is the verse which was edited:

“The man finally comes to the door / I’ve seen him several times / He always looks pissed off / And his sunglasses stay on / I think he got his biceps and tattoos while in prison / And it doesn’t seem to bother him / When he says ‘Go to hell’…”

It was edited to say:

“The man finally comes to the door / I’ve seen him several times / He always looks (really MUTED pi)-ssed off / And his sunglasses stay on / I think he got his biceps and tattoos while in prison / And it doesn’t seem to bother him / When he says ‘go to *record scratches*…”

And the liner notes cut out the phrases entirely. Way to censor, Tooth and Nail. And by the way, great job promoting the album… seeing as like no stores have it and very few people know it exists. You’re a class A record label (note heavy sarcasm).

“And her heart still beats inside / The blood runs in her veins / A remnant of life remains / Her heart still beats inside…”

Enough about T&N… Next song is Babies Breath, which I actually heard last year at Cornerstone when Reese played his solo acoustic set, which was incredible. I really liked the song then, and I like it now… it is one of the lighter songs on the album. I like how it is foreshadowing to the final song also…

“I keep feeling that the strangest peace is all around / In the speechless, in this quiet / Angels never make a single sound / Softest moonlight making garlands, forms the crown / Glassy seas of blue / I will dream of you…”

And next up is I Fell Away, which was originally entitled Icarus, for reasons which are apparent when you hear the lyrics. It’s basically about trying something and failing at it, just because you are human and not strong enough to do it on your own… but that God will lift you up and heal you. I really like the imagery in it.

“Today on fragile wings I tried to touch the sun / as wax and feathers melted / all my dreams have come undone / today…”

The next song is another one done by Dennis… and it is called Recall. It’s about remembering the love of God after you have forgotten about it for so long… It also goes heavy back into the imagery of the “U.S.S. Gloria” theme…. And this, by the way, is a much better done concept album then their previous, which barely qualified as a concept album….

“Like a flicker of light in the back of my mind / It all comes back to me / Like an overdue sunrise / It all comes back to me / I remember your love being better than life / When it all comes back to me / I will sing in the shadows when it all comes back…”

Next is Atropos… another instrumental ;)… is a cool intro into the final song, Daylight. This is an awesome song, reminiscent of other album closers written by Reese… but it is just a really good song. It just demonstrates the fulfillment of hope… the lyrics in the outro are incredible… as well as the raw emotion there….

“Jesus Christ, light of the World / You never did forget me / And When I bled in darkness / You held me, still held me / When desperate nights I cursed You / You loved me, still loved me / Jesus Christ you dry the tears / You break my heart of stone / Your words are life / Cut marrow through the darkness / Through the bone / A heart of flesh You gave me / Only You can save me / Savior / Dayligh / I am coming home…”

And it closes with a final instrumental… Irides of M. A very fulfilling cd-listening experience… which lasts close to an hour. About 52 minutes to be exact.

I hope you buy it… (click the album cover below to do so) and like it… and are encouraged…. and don’t ever forget….

“the bravest thing of all is always hope…” “you are not alone.”






Brave Saint Saturn

The Light of Things Hoped For

Reese Roper is the new holder of the “harshest song ever” award…

“Here’s another song with the four
oldest chords in history,
I guess I lost all ambition turning left on Missouri,
I could have made it better
but the feelings just aren’t there
my heart is cold and black
and I just don’t think I care.
So here’s to me saying “fare-thee-well”
and when you hear this song
i hope it hurts like…

Enamel, is stretched too thin
you’re beautiful, but not beneath your skin
(enamel, like insect shells
so hollow, like your wedding bells.)

The phone lines down in Mexico are
slow and maybe tired
I think all your devotion,
got lost inside the wires.
Well I hope you cannot sleep,
And I hope you cannot smile
and I hope that you are brudened with
your guilt for quite a while
I hope you fall in love,
but I hope your plans are thwarted,
and I hope that now you’re back,
it’s because you were deported.

Enamel, is stretched too thin
you’re beautiful, but not beneath your skin
(enamel, like insect shells
so hollow, like your wedding bells.)”

-“Enamel,” by Brave Saint Saturn

So today really flew by pretty fast. I woke up around 11 cuz I was feeling kind of sick last night and so I didn’t go to my first class today…. then I went into the studio to help set stuff up at around oh… 2ish… got out of there near 5:30ish to 6ish. And it wasn’t until about oh… 7 or 8 that it really felt like the day had actually started. So here I sit, at 3:30 a.m. typing to you… and I’m starting to get a little tired… my contacts have killed my eyes so they have been removed 😉 so I can barely see as I type this.. but… oh well. I figure if I am to remain awake I need to have them out to give my eyes a break before I need to put them back in again when I go to class. I don’t think I am going to sleep tonight, unless I get to a point where i just can’t be up anymore. Why? crew call at 7:30… which means breakfast at 7.. which means I’d have to wake up by 6:30… yes, it takes me that long to get ready when I wake up that early…. but only because I move at about a hundreth of my normal speed.

So this probably isn’t going to help with the whole being sick thing.. but what are you going to do?

Oh yeah, and when I was on the decapolis message board earlier someone posted asomething about rating their picture on hotornot.com… so i clicked on it and rated it. and then another picture came up.. and so i clicked on another number…. and then another.. and then another…. i spent far too much time doing that. it’s really incredibly sad to think about. i really need a girlfriend 😛

so anyway, i think that that cursed estrogen is like a drug. i am addicted to it, and am suffering from withdrawal…. all the symptoms are there folks. cursed, cursed estrogen…… and those that bear it.

I also am trying to figure out when i am going to get the bs2 cd tomorrow. want to get it before i am through with classes…. but i don’t have very much time in between. I will figure out a way though. Oh yes, I will.

And now, off to find something worthwhile to do at 3:30…. maybe I’ll go wake up the security guard from his nap again. then I can piss him off 2 nights in a row… 😉

[Edit (6:40 am): Well that was disappointing. At some point I decided I would watch the sunrise this morning, since I was up and everything…. Generally I miss it by about 20 minutes on tuesdays… but.. yeah. Anyway, I was all psyched about it… and then… i go out.. and realize.. there are stupid trees and houses in my way. I walked all over campus trying to get around them, but in the end, I was forced to admit defeat. My sunrise-seeing was not meant to be… I could kind of see a little bit over the trees… and that part looked good… so I’m sure it was great… a shame i had to miss out on it.

In just a little bit I get to eat breakfast and then go to crew call though. Both very exciting things. mmmm… breakfast….

Have a great day.]

So apparently a lot of this song was rewritten…. apparently i like it a lot better now.. though I have yet to really hear it in it’s new form in it’s entirity…… I like it a lot though.

Check out clips of the wonderful new Brave Saint Saturn album… right here:

http://www.fye.com/catalog/musicProduct.jhtml?itemId=10962628

and then buy it tomorrow. But not until after I have it… because I want to make sure I can find it 😉

“Blessed is the man who does prevail
Doomed are the peacemakers when they fail
If hope springs eternal, it never did here
I guess I lost all my hope last year
I tried to steal the moon from the sky…
I am lost and lonely, adrift in space
My dreams are haunted by your face
Blessed are the drifters, the stars that die
Whose light expires before goodbyes
Goodbye, goodbye…
Binary star
You’re the brightest blue by far
And all forgets this star is seen
I thought that you were meant for me.
Blessed are the meek, that shall inherit
The froze of death for all their merit
The right to stumble, avail, and perish
Doomed are those who only cherish.
I tried to steal the moon from the sky…
You hide behind your broken wings
your dreams are all for better things
And in the dark, we climb the slope
Cause the bravest thing of all is always hope
Goodbye, goodbye…
Binary star
You’re the brightest blue by far
And all forgets this star is seen
I thought that you were meant for me.
Binary star
You’re the brightest blue by far
And all forgets this star is seen
I thought that you were meant for me.
And all forgets this star is seen
I thought that you were meant for me.
I thought that you were meant for me. “

-“Binary,” by Brave Saint Saturn

I thought this was cool:
http://www.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/meast/03/21/sprj.irq.safwan/index.html

So I think Shaded Red should get back together and release that next album they were planning on releasing at one time… and also get their other 2 cds re-released on a new label. I miss them and they are awesome.

This is a really cool song they wrote:

“Didn’t I swear I’d be there
Didn’t I make you this promise
To hold you tight forever and ever
(Bridge)
Yet I fell apart
And my world crashed down
I was sinkin’ fast, until I felt true love
Oh yeah
(Chorus)
All night, all day
I feel your touch
I feel your love
It’s your love that makes it right
All night, all day
I feel your touch
I feel your love
It’s your love that holds me tight
Didn’t He come to save us
Didn’t He come to tell us
Of true love
Forever and ever
(Bridge)
Yet He fell apart on the cross He bore
True love he gave
So I could say, oh yeah”
-“Found Someone,” by Shaded Red

Go sign the petition to put the original star wars trilogy on dvd! why? Because otherwise the original trilogy will be lost forever…. and we don’t want that to happen. So go and sign it and help keep George Lucas from doing something rather stupid.

http://www.originaltrilogy.com


and now… for another survey thing:

First name: Jason
Single or taken: single, unfortunately.
Sex: Male
Birthday: February 7
logical sign: aquarius
Siblings: 2 sisters
Shoe size: 11
Height: 5’10” or 11″
Did you send this to your crush: I don’t have a crush. Nor did I “send” this to anyone… i merely posted it on here.
Who IS your crush? See above.
Where is your favorite place to shop? Best Buy
What do you have pierced? Nothing… yet.
What do you get labeled as (nickname)?  Some people call me Reese.
Do you do drugs? Nope.
What kind of shampoo do you use? The cheapest stuff I see in the store. Usually Suave
What are you listening to right now? a commercial on tv.
What car do you wish to have? That’s a tough decision…. I’d take any of those really nice cars out there… 😉
Who is the last person that called you? that called me? does it count if they called me but were actually trying to call Keith? By the way, Keith, if you are reading this… tell people that my cell phone number is NOT your cell phone number. I’m sick of getting your calls. Anyway, umm.. back to the question. I think Heather.
Who is the last person you got a text from? Elliot
Who was the last person you rang? My mom
Who was the last person you sent a text to? Also elliot
How many messenger buddies do you have right now? umm.. a lot… 150+.
what’s your favorite…
Band/artists: Five Iron Frenzy. All the other bands I like broke up. (not really, but a lot of them did;)
Smell: I don’t have a speciffic favorite smell. Good smells are good 😉
Number: 268
Boy’s name: don’t care
Girl’s name: don’t care
Subjects in school/college: Anything not considered a “real” class. TV Production is fun.
have you ever….
Smoked? nope.
Bungee jumped? Nope. Maybe one day…. if someone is willing to push me.
Broke the law? Mostly just copyrights and speed limits…. just like pretty well everyone else.
Made yourself throw-up: No. I don’t like throwing up.
Gone skinny-dipping? no.
Been in love? yeah.
Made yourself cry to get out of trouble: Ummm.. no.
what’s the first thing that comes to mind….
Thread: needle.
CD: ummm… little plastic disc?
School: class.
Yellow: bus
Red: stop
Cow: beef
Shit: happens (good ‘ol Forrest Gump)
Greenland: green land.
Canada: milk in a bag
Hedgehog: I don’t think of anything when I think of hedgehogs.
which is worse…
Cat shit or Dog shit? I dislike them both equally.
Have u had your heart broken or broken someone elses: The first one yes… definately.
How many people are you sending this to? 0
Who will send it back? Noone.
If you could be someone else for a day who would it be? John Malkovich? (that was a weird movie)
If you were a tree, what type would you be? do trees get to choose what type they are? I like palm trees, they’re pretty cool.
Gold or Silver?: gold.
What is the last film you saw at the cinema? Tears of the Sun. It was grand.
Favorite cartoon character? Hard to decide, I’ll just say Homer Simpson.
What did you have for breakfast this morning? nothing with a side of nothing.
Are you sending this to anyone who you dont like? no, because i am not sending it to anyone.
Favourite color? green


That wasn’t as entertaining as I had hoped. Oh well. I promise one day I’ll make real posts again. That big list is coming… 😉

So yeah… the response to the last post was amazing. And it had an overwhelmingly positive response from the female gender, which I found to be quite interesting, as they typically do not like to admit that things such as Halo are so great.

Anyway, for those of you who do not know, I am presently trying to convince myself that I do not like girls… at all. As part of this attempt, I am going to come up with 1,000 reasons why I should hate girls. I figure if I have 1,000 reasons why I should hate them, then I have to at LEAST be able to convince myself that I don’t like them 😉

So it is coming……. oh yes…. it is coming….

But for now, go ahead and read the previous entry if you haven’t yet! It’s still good… even if it is a day old! I promise.