So the play went good. No real problems at all 🙂 I am continuing to be very glad that I am helping out with it.

So tomorrow is Friday. That means no class until noon! I get to sleep in. It will be wonderful.

So yeah. I have lately been having really good days. I’m keeping it pretty balanced though, cuz I’ve been thinking about some kind of negative stuff. But that’s what it’s all about, right? balance. Unfortunately, there’s really no way I can tell you the speciffics due to the fact that those that i do not want to read it would be able to. 😉 Stupid Xanga.

Anyway, this is a sad attempt at a post. But at least I tried. 🙂

And yet another mxpx song… I’ve been listening to them a lot lately 😉

“You’re taking all the space up in my head
With all the things that we could do and
All the things that could be said
It’s hard for me to try and understand
The way I feel about you and the way it
Made me feel to hold your hand
Am I running out of time or am I at the
starting line?
I know I missed the mark yet I just need some
sort of sign
My words don’t come out easily
So I will tell you honestly
No one wants to spend
Eternity alone…. “

-“The Final Slowdance,” by MxPx

dang… it’s hectic in the stores on halloween 🙂

Anyway, I think I will make a post tonight after the play is over. Am presently watching “That 70’s Show” 😉 It’s wonderful… one of my favorite tv shows ever I think 😉

Later.

Well, ever talk to someone on AIM only to later find out that you were not in fact actually talking to who you thought you were talking to, and in fact now have no clue who in the heck it was you were talking to? Yeah, that happened to me today. Anyone who has spoken to Stephanie Fountain recently may want to verify that it was in fact truly her you were speaking to. Apparently there is an imposter out there, seeking to decieve you. As of this moment, their motive is unknown. But I will find out… oh yes, I will.

I am really pretty tired and not feeling too great right now. My throat is hurting and I’m getting kind of sick. Rehearsals for the play continue to be pretty cool, but it eats up almost all my free time. Actually, tonight was the last rehearsal. Tomorrow is the real thing. Be here, 7:30, to hear me bang a hammer on pieces of wood in a manner which resembles the sound of a door being knocked on! It’s incredible. And I just got word tonight, that my name is INDEED in the program! That’s right! I am an official wood hammerer. That’s the official title. I also do other stuff, but that’s the only thing that the audience gets to see…. So that is the part I emphasize. But should you hear some prolonged silence followed by “oh crap!” and then some hurried banging… that is NOT me. I would never screw up something that important, so that would have to be the knock that… that… other guy.. is responsible for.

I hope you all have a wonderful evening/night/morning/afternoon/day/whatever it may happen to be when you read this…. I know I certainly will 😉

Godspeed.
-Jason

aha! It’s corey’s favorite mxpx song! 😉

“When I meet a special girl,
She always lives somewhere else in the world.
Don’t want to call her on the phone,
I want to talk to her when I’m at home.

Drop out of school and run away,
Quit your job, you’ve got a place to stay
Pack your bags and hitch a ride
Bremerton’s a good place to reside

Move to Bremerton, we’ll hang out,
Move to Bremerton ’cause you wanna,
Move to Bremerton, will you be mine?

Move to Bremerton until the end of time

I’ll change the street signs you drive down
So you’ll end up in my town
I’ll redraw the maps all one by one
So they’ll lead to Bremerton

If you cut your hair and bleach it too,
You gotta know that I’ll have a crush on you.
I’m a sucker for a short haired girl with a pretty smile
She gots to have ideas, yeah, and she gots to have style”

-“Move To Bremerton,” by MxPx

What a day… what a day. Has been busy… but went by pretty fast. I am pretty tired, but I want to write in here cuz… I dunno.. I just do. Then I’ve got to write an e-mail to somebody. And then I can sleep for a few hours.

So anyway, I woke up and immediately went to class. After class, I took Matt to try to get his key made again. Still he was unable to get it done. I don’t think he will ever have a key 🙂 They are plotting against him. It probably involves the evil squirrels of lakeland in some way.

Anyway, after that I had about an hour and a half to just kick back in the room. Watched some simpsons and played some stupid games ;). Then comes 6:30… and I had to go to the rehearsal for “The Hiding Place” here at school. No, I am not in it, I am a stage hand. As of early this morning. Anyway, I didn’t get out of there until like just a little before midnight. It was long, but I enjoyed being there. All the people were cool, and so.. yeah. Actually met several new people (you know, many of which i have seen around but never really talked to, one or two that I haven’t really). Anyway, makes me really mad that I was dumb and didn’t try out for it. I know I would have had a heck of a lot of fun doing it. But I am also really glad that when Rachel called this morning I decided that I would do it (I basically had to decide over a span of like 2 minutes whether or not I wanted to do it). At least I get to experience a about a week of being involved in it. (If you come to the Southeastern campus and watch the play, you too can have the privelage of hearing a hammer banging on wood, making a sound which resembles knocking on a door, and knowing that it is me that is making that hammer hit the wood. It is quite the highlight of the show.) I am definately trying out for the next play. If you ever catch me reconsidering that decision, you can feel free to smack me with either my wooden board, or my hammer… or both.

“That board with the nail in it may have defeated us… but the humans won’t stop there. They’ll make bigger boards, with bigger nails… and soon they will make a board with a nail so big it will destroy them all! Muahahahahahhaa!…”

Sorry, just a random quote that popped into mind 😉

Anyway, after I got out I went to Taco Bell because I hadn’t eaten ANYTHING at all today. (yeah, my first meal came at midnite… go figure. ok, so I did eat 5 ritz crackers earlier.. but that doesn’t count.) So yeah, I had to borrow money in order to get food, so I would like to say that Ronnie is AWESOME and is quite possibly the coolest person on the face of this planet. Thank you Ronnie, for saving me from starvation. 😉 lol… It would have been funny if I hadn’t just caught that typo. insert other words which come close to “starvation” and see if you can come up with what it might have been… haha 🙂

On a completely different note…. watch out for those concrete blocks that they sometimes put on the ends of parking spaces. You never know when they are going to spontaneously latch onto the bottom of your car. Yes, upon purchasing tickets for a movie, Matt and I were leaving the parking lot, and the car felt weird backing up, and then the lady in the car that was parked next to us got out and got me to stop. The stupid concrete block had been dragged with the car… some stupid metal pole was sticking out the top of it and had somehow gotten itself lodged into my car. This was a very new and interesting experience.

Hope you all have a wonderful day…..

*listens to mxpx*

“I need the kind of girl that knows
a girl that likes to wear my clothes
someone who always buys me coke someone who laughs at all my jokes

that’s the girl that i want to see
fall in love with me
that’s the girl that i long to know
oh how i love her so

i’m looking for a girl who
writes me songs
and talks to Jesus all day long
and the way she does her hair no one else can compare
i’ll probably meet her at a show
when i look at her i’ll know
that she’s the perfect one for me
and with her i will always be

the one for me.”

-“Want Ad,” by MxPx

Wise words ;):

People are Stupid. Given the proper motivation, people will believe anything because they either fear it is true, or because they want to believe it is true. People’s heads are filled with knowledge, facts, and beliefs, and most of it is not true, but they think it is true. People can rarely tell the difference between the truth and a lie, yet they think they can, so they are fooled more easily. People want to believe, so they do.

And how dare you not comment on my last post. Jerkholes.

Welp, no continuance of the dream happened. Disappointed? yes. Surprised? not really. I’m not really sure it’s even possible for that to happen. It certainly never has for me before ;). Stupid subconcious.

Sometimes certain topics can get run into the ground…. and just get very, very old 😉 I have seen one of such recently. Just thought I’d complain. I’m not going to tell you what it is 🙂

So I visited good ‘ol www.Christianburner.com again today. I seem to be making all kinds of friends. Generally, I find them to be pretty non-attentive to what I actually say. Apparently anyone who believes that Christianity could be true is a complete idiot, yet all other religions should be uplifted.

Feel free to check out their message boards (just go to the site and follow the links) and check out what has been said.

Check this out…. still untitled, but I decided I care about meter after all 😉 I also made some modifications because I realized some parts were stupid 😉

Enjoy. It is still untitled so far.


Broken, Fallen on the ground
Betrayed by my own desires
Looking in your eyes I’ve found
The burning warmth of old fires

A failure here, these last years.
A life of futility.
Yet I sense a purpose here
Yet impossibility

What is it that your eyes see?
Vision blurred by streaming tears
I long to see them set free
See the light within so clear

But still a haze surrounds me
I need a hand to guide me
Thought I’d make it all alone
All my strength’s been overthrown

I’m broken, can I heal you?
I can’t leave you without hope
I feel your pain, burn me through
With these my weak heart can’t cope

Someday we may find a way.
Together we may pull through.
I know, slim hope for today
I pray you will make it true.

Ever have a really cool dream… and it’s getting better and better…. and just when like… the best thing is about to happen…. your fricking alarm clock goes off and wakes you up? Such was my experience last night. I guess I can’t complain too much, it was still a great dream.

Sorry, I can’t really get into what it was about on here 😉 You know… too many of those people i don’t want hearing such things read this site 🙂 Ah well.

On another note, here’s a few random things I’ve been thinking about. It’s funny how stuff can seem so incredibly important to you at one point…. like you can’t imagine life without it even…. and then, later down the road, you realize it really wasn’t so important after all. Also interesting how people fail to realize their own change, while change in others is blatantly obvious. And yet, people are so willing to change if they think that it is what someone else wants.

I guess that’s about it. On a final note, I am disappointed in comments here lately. Come on now people, I comment on almost every post I read…. you can give me a few little comments here and there 😉 Otherwise I am going on strike (yeah, like that’s a threat… comment or I’ll stop writing these inane pathetic excuses for weblog entries and you’ll no longer be forced to endure the torturous drivel (sp?) that i spew forth. :P)

Anyway, have fun. I’m going to get to that sleep thing and hope that for the first time ever I’ll be able to pick up where my dreaming left off ;)…

*** Warning: this post is majestically stupid. Don’t read it unless you want to subject yourself to boring, inane, idiocy… you will leave here a worse person for having read it, I promise you… ***

All right. It’s been a few days. Maybe I should post. Today has been an exciting day… full of… well… excitement.

The day began with the glorious loud obnoxious beeping of my alarm clock. I turned it off, got out of bed, and went to breakfast. I ate cereal. It was magically delicious (which was surprising, as it was not lucky charms.) I went to Radio. My instructor did not show up. I complained loudly about how waking up for no good reason sucks, and how teachers should show up for their classes, especially when they are at 8 am. Then came chapel, which was all right, but I was not really awake so it is all a blur. Lunch. Salad and soup. Eh, not so great. Practiced for my scene for my acting class. Went pretty well, except my partner is still learning her lines, and I am actively forgetting mine. So by the time we do it, we should both have pretty well no idea what we’re doing. Sociology. Review. Boring. Dinner consisted of some meatloaf and cornbread and oriental chicken stuff and mashed potatoes. They insisted on giving me horribly small amounts of food, which was annoying because I was starving. Jerk cafeteria workers. Mall with Matt (Valdeck), you can read about that at his site. Came back, had to go run lines for our scene with my partner, so she could learn hers, and so i could forget mine. I then went running with Kirk and his friend, Jamie. 1st time I met her though she looked familiar so I know that I have seen her before. Anyway, she seemed pretty cool… though despite all her claiming not to have run in a long time and that we would have to wait for her… she proceeded to outrun both of us massively. And then makes even more of a mockery out of us by asking if we were intentionally going “slow” to make her feel better. HA! I could barely keep up with her, and at the end I was falling behind… Kirk was way back.. heh 🙂 Ah well. Immediately upon returning, I was hungry, and so we went to subway. i drove there very speedily (65 in a 30 zone isn’t too fast, is it?) as we had about 15 minutes before subway was to close. We got there and the guy working was very cool. he complained about us coming in right before he was going to lock the door, but, he didn’t seem to really mind 😉 anyway, he gave us all free drinks with our sandwhiches. Free drinks are good. Then I came back here and wrote this. That was my day. If that’s not excitement, then well, I don’t know what is. I’m sorry that I am dumb and can’t think of anything better to write about. I know that my life is incredibly boring, and I apologize for subjecting you to this. I hope you still like me. Oh yeah, and I’m sorry it’s all one big paragraph. i was too lazy to hit the enter button ever. so.. yeah. but no complaining. just count yourself lucky i felt like hitting the space bar, and using the shift key from time to time. bye bye now.

Here is what was promised just a little bit ago…

Before you read it, here is the idea… You may remember reading “The Hero” a brief while ago… if you have been reading this site for awhile, anyway ;). If you have not read it, go ahead and read it here.

Now, this next poem is sort of a continuation on this. Now, if you didn’t KNOW that, you probably wouldn’t see, it, because, well, it is written in an entirely different style and from an entirely different perspective.

Anyway, my idea for the next several things I will be writing is that they will all be connected… sometimes tightly connected, sometimes more loosely connected.

Is this poem written from the perspective of THE hero? Well, who am I to say? You will have to draw your own conclusion. Certainly it is from one who is like the hero… one who identifies with him.

Let me know what you think.

Untitled as of yet:

“Broken, Fallen on the ground
Betrayed by my own desires
Looking up into your eyes I’ve found
The burning warmth of those olden fires

A failure here, these last years.
Only excercises in futility.
Yet I sense a purpose here
But yet also an impossibility

What is it that your eyes see?
Your vision blurred by tears
I long to see them free
To see the light within so clear

But even so a haze surrounds me
I need a hand to guide me
I thought I could do this on my own
But what little strength I had was overthrown

Broken as I am, how can I hope to heal you?
I cannot leave you here without a hope
I feel your pain, it burns me through
And with these combined my weak heart cannot cope

Perhaps together we will find a way.
If you lean on me, may I lean on you?
But that is too much to hope for today
I pray someday you will see me too.”

Godspeed.

All right. The block is gone, I have finally been able to write something 😉 I am taking a slight break from it for the moment though… and writing this post instead 🙂

Last night I went to the coffee house for a poetry reading. As last time, it was pretty inspiring to me, and I came away with some ideas for writing… though none of them seem to be related in any way to anything I heard there, I came up with them all as I was sitting there… so… yeah, I credit them to it ;).

I am really glad that it is saturday. Due to the extremely long drive back down here… all the rest I got over fall break was pointless 🙂 I have been nothing but EXTREMELY tired ever since I got back down here. So a day to have no need of doing anything but resting is a wonderful thing.

Anyway, expect an update later today, which will contain the writing which I am currently working on.

God speed you.

(oh, and to any guy that may be reading this… this song right below here…. offers you the best advice you will ever hear ;))

“Gazing across the room
I’ll never forget when I laid my eyes on you
And although I have to admit
I wasn’t hoping for this much
My eyes are crazy now that I’ve seen you
And time holds me in distance of you
And next to you is the only place
That I, I’m truly me

I know I don’t deserve you
I hope you don’t take that date
Scratching the surface only creates scars
I hope you don’t dig that far
And I don’t want, want another girl
Even if I have to wait forever
And please don’t forget
Never say never

One life to live
It’s too short to waste it
I spend all my time thinking of you
How foolish of me to do.”

-“As Soon As Beauty Dies,” by dieradiodie