Today has seriously felt like saturday ALL day today. I don’t know why, it’s really weird. I feel like I will have to wake up and go to church tomorrow, but I don’t. Weird, weird weird.
Tonight was pretty cool. I went to a college and career type thing that the pastor of the church I go to was having. The other people who went from here were Karen, Karissa, Craig, and Johnny. It was a lot of fun. Also met a bunch of people there, mostly people from Florida Southern. It was quite enjoyable. I already forget a lot of people’s names, but, oh well. There was one guy who looked exactly like Dennis (of FIF)… he was pretty cool. Also met Katie (who was very cool, my most extensive conversation of the night was with her), kelly, amy, carolyn (lynn? lin? line? I don’t know how to spell it), some other girl whose name I forget… Dan, and Wes. Wes was quite amusing, also. They had a very cool VW bus, which we rode in to go to the movies to see Phone Booth… which I was very excited about, because i wanted to see it tonight, but then when I remembered about the church thing I was kinda bummed cuz I didn’t think I was going to go see it. So yeah, when.. I think it was carolyn mentioned that they were going to go and see it, i was quite emphatic about the fact that I wanted to go 😉
Was it everything I hoped for? Not really. I liked it though. I expect that most people will not be overly thrilled with it. It is obvious that it was low budget, and it’s kind of predictable if you know how to predict this type of movie (there are no characters there that don’t need to be there. Every character who says something has some kind of important role in the movie, it follows the reverse of what is a standard movie plotline, etc, etc… ;))
Anyway, I liked it, I would see it again if someone wanted to go see it.
That’s all I have to say for tonight 🙂
It was mentioned in a comment on here yesterday that I “may want a girlfriend soon.” And… all I have to say to that is….
soon? that’s not quite right. how about right now? or better yet, a couple months ago? I’m done with the whole patience process. Unfortunately the vast majority of girls are evil. And I don’t like evil girls.
And every non-evil girl I find is either already dating someone else or at the very least is already interested in someone else…. or maybe just doesn’t like me 😉 That’s probably it. They sense my interest and then grab the next guy they see and make them pretend they are dating. It’s all an elaborate facade.
In other news…. I was disappointed in Sonic last night. I got a cherry limeade… there were no actual cherries OR limes in it though. This is a first. I hope it was just a fluke and they have not stopped putting them in. Because that made them awesome, as opposed to just good.
And I am going to do laundry today! I have needed to for almost a whole week now.. but don’t worry… i only rewore clothes that probably shouldn’t have been reworn last night when I had to go over to the studio… and that’s only because i had to be wearing all black. So yeah. I’m sure that impressed all them girls in there 😉 There’ll be a line outside of my door tonight… and I’ll be able to take my pick.
Ah.. if only it were true.
Derek Webb’s cd is pretty good. This is the first time I’ve REALLY listened to it.. even though I’ve had it for over a week now.
I have no roomate for next year. Chad and Matt are supposed to be my suitemates, but as far as my actual room, the person who was going to backed out on me, and I didn’t have time to look for a new person, though later that night after the deadline for the forms I found someone who would have wanted to. Oh well. A little randomization never hurt anybody. Actually, it probably has, but I get along with most people I think, there’s only a few people I presently know on campus who I would not want to room with, so hopefully that is a good representation of the entire student body, and my chances should be pretty good ;). I think it is.
I have my schedule for next semester worked out. It’s looking pretty awesome. Intro to Mass Comm, Intro to Audio Production, Advanced TV Production, Media Ethics, Broadcast Workshop, Principles of Ethics (yes, that is 2 ethics classes… go figure), Christian Thought 1, and Tae Kawn Do. Yes, Tae Kwon Do. Clearly that will be the most insanely difficult class ever.
Tonight is friday. Maybe I will go to a movie for the first time in weeks. That would be fun. Oohh… Phone Booth comes out tonight. We’d better go see it. Or else.
Ok, I think this post is long enough now. I’ve just been kind of rambling on for awhile now.
Bye then.
I spent a good deal of time outside tonight. It was enjoyable. I went out to the little area between where the chapel is and where the cafeteria is… and I played guitar for awhile… about an hour i guess. It was fun. I kinda sat for awhile, then walked around. One guy stopped and listened for a bit…. and then left. 😉 I watched people as they were passing by and stuff… no one passed by too closely, except the guy who stopped, because well.. the sidewalk is a bit of a ways from where I was. But anyway, as I was nearing my completion… 2 of my friends… well, acquaintances really.. I don’t know them all that well, and don’t hang out with them very often… walked by… they are dating, so, yeah. anyway, i just thought of how perfect they really seem for each other. Which means something coming from me, because I rarely feel that 2 people that are dating are really meant for each other 😉 I don’t know why I’m writing about that, I guess it just made me feel like maybe it’s possible, because a lot of the time I don’t think it is.
Also, later I was talking on the phone outside… and when i got off… i just smelled i guess the general smell of the outdoors…. and it’s a smell i really associate with camping for some reason… and therefore with Cornerstone. So it has renewed my desire to be there. or to just camp… haha… I would definately go camping if I had a tent and someone to go with ;).
Oh yeah, if you’re bored, be sure to check out the FIF Studio Cam! http://www.onewaystudio.net/webcam.html
They are recording stuff for their final album… which is to be titled “The End is Near”. It sounds cool. And Douglas TenNapel will be doing the artwork for it! which is awesome. I like Douglas TenNapel….
Here is what is on the cam right now:
All right. Have a great day.
Well, I was going to post a new picture… but my camera is being dumb and not working. Oh well, You will have to wait until tomorrow.
Anyway….
People are funny. Ever have someone complain to no end about how someone does a certain thing, or doesn’t do another thing, and yet has no qualms with doing (or not doing, respectively) the same things themselves? Like say they go to church, and this particular day someone isn’t going, just because they were tired and wanted to sleep in. Clearly, this is not a valid excuse. Now, a few weeks later, the person who made this judgement wakes up, decides they are tired, and to go back to sleep rather then go to church. This person feels nothing wrong with this, though just a few weeks before it was very wrong of the other person to do so. I guess it’s pretty amazing what perspective can do to your understanding. Depending on how from what angle you are seeing things, any given situation can be vastly different. Just something to think about.
Oh yeah, and there are a few people who may feel this specifically applie to them. Well, in a way, yes, it does… but not really. There are enough of you that I feel as though I am posting about people in general.. and therefore, it is about you, but not soley you, and not you specifically. 😉 So don’t take offense or anything….
Oh yeah, and I lost my book bag. That sucks. I had 2 books and a notebook and some important papers and stuff in it. I have no idea where it could possibly be, as I speciffically remember bringing it back to the room, and NOT taking it back out with me the next day… but it is nowhere to be found. Ah well.
Have a great day.
hmmm… only one comment on that? oh well.
Today is another day that flew by. In fact, I still have a little bit of work that I need to do for tomorrow. It won’t be hard… I just have to do an inner monologue… so basically… I’ll take a minute of my thoughts… edit out anything too personal to do in class… and write that down 😉 How exciting… people will know my inner thoughts. Actually, that’s kind of frightening for them. It’s bad enough *I* have to live with them, let alone share them with others 😉
Oh yeah. I was at the mall today, because my roommate was looking for the new Shane Bernard cd. Family Chrisitian failed to have it. So we went to FYE (note: pronounce it “fyeh”, no, that is not it’s actual name, but it is a good thing to call it.) Anyway, as anyone who has ever heard of this store knows, it is a horribly, horribly overpriced store. like… when stuff goes on sale… it’s ALMOST as low as you can get it if you go to almost any other store. Anyway, I walk in there today… and as I’m looking for Shane Bernard, I see the new Brave Saint Saturn cd…. which I thought was cool, cuz it wasn’t there when i looked for it last tuesday. Anyway, I picked it up and looked at the price… $15. As opposed to the $17 I paid at Family Christian. Does anyone else see something wrong with this? A store KNOWN for being hideously overpriced is selling an album for LESS then the Christian store? Good ‘ol corporate Christianity.
In other news… I have been reading Romans.. and… I came across a chapter which I think makes for good discussion. It is Romans 9. Below is the speciffic portion of it I refer to.
Romans 9:11-23
Yet, before the twins were born or had done anything good or bad – in order that God’s purpose in election might stand: not by works but bnuy him who calls = she was told, “the older will serve the younger.” Just as it is written: “Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated.” What then shall we say? Is God unjust? Not at all! For he says to Moses, “I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.” It does not, therefore, depend on man’s desire or effort, but on God’s mercy. For the Scripture says to Pharaoh: “I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.” Therefore God has mercy on whom he wants to have mercy, and he hardens whom he wants to harden. One of you will say to me: “Then why does God still blame us? For who resists his will?” But who are you, O man, to talk back to God? “Shall what is formed say to him who formed its, ‘why did you make me like this?'” Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for noble purposes and some for common use? What if God, choosing to show his wrath and make his power known, bore with great patience the objects of his wrath – prepared for destruction? What if he did this to make the riches of His glory known to the objects of His mercy, whom He prepared in advance for glory…?”
So clearly this is the issue of Arminianism vs. Calvinism. Thoughts, ideas, comments?
Godspeed.
“Incandescent moon is shining just for you, tonight.
Shimmering, a golden halo, does it follow just beyond your sight?
Sigh… You’re an angel wanting wings for flight, tonight.
Baby’s Breath, in the waxing light.
Glassy seas of blue.
I will dream of you.
Let’s close our eyes till Daylight comes.
Baby’s Breath, and Chrysanthemums.
So beaming blue these dreaming skies,
In soundless sleep now close your eyes.
‘Till Daylight,
‘Till Daylight comes.
I keep feeling, that the strangest peaces is all around.
In the speechless, in this quiet, Angels never make a single sound,
Sigh… Baby’s breath and Lilacs so profound.
Softest moonlight making garlands, forms the crown.
Glassy seas of blue.
I will dream of you.
Let’s close our eyes till Daylight comes.
Baby’s Breath, and Chrysanthemums.
So beaming blue these dreaming skies,
In soundless sleep now close your eyes.
‘Till Daylight,
‘Till Daylight comes.”
-“Babies Breath,” by braveSaintSaturn
All right, so apparently for some reason I promised a decent update sometime this weekend…. and this my friends… this is my attempt to deliver.
I have had a lot of things on the mind this past week or so, and so I am not really sure exactly what direction I am going to go with this post… I may ramble on about completely unrelated things…. or I might tie a few things together… or have enough to go on on one thing that I will tire of writing before I get onto anything else…. so that being said.. consider yourself warned ;).
“Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace.”
-Romans 8:6-7
I read that last night just prior to going to sleep. I have been thinking about how so much of the time I don’t trust God. And the issue I think is a total lack of any real faith. And I don’t think I am alone in that at all. I think there are so many people in the church who have little to no faith at all. What we have is just a cheap substitute….
What is the secret to faith? I don’t know. But I do know that there is faith to be had, and that I desire it and long for it more then anything else. I want the faith of a cripples and blind men, who we may think have so many reasons to be angry at God, and yet they have absolute trust in Him. In my thinking… I was thinking… what do I want people to think when they think of me? what do I want people to remember me for? and if I could choose anything, then that would be, for my faith.
And it is from there that I think everything else comes together. It is then that we are able to be distinctively different from the people around us. And it is then that they will be willing to listen. It is then that we stop making excuses for doing what WE want to do, and instead follow God’s leading through faith. Who cares what happens in life so long as we serve God’s purpose and ultimately end up with Him? Have you ever sat and thought how little room you really have to complain, etc? And every is different, some people who read this may have some serious health issue, or whatever. Most of us do not. Most of us here in America live relatively great lives. So so what if you don’t have a girlfriend, or that girl that you like(d) is dating someone else? Does it really matter? God will supply what you need.
I think that it also has a lot to do with where your focus is. You can have a postitive focus, or a negative focus. I have for a very long time been terrible about focusing on the negative. 100 things can go right in a day, and 1 thing go wrong and i end up obsessing over the thing that went wrong and being bummed out. I think that a person could be living the most blessed life ever and be depressed because of a negative focus, and that a person could be living an absolutely miserable life and be perfectly content and at peace if they focus on the positive. And of course, to focus on the things of God brings us even further.
I also think of friends. Sometimes, you end up hardly ever seeing certain people. Why that is, I don’t know. I guess they get caught up in their own lives, and kind of forget about you. And it always seems like people always say it’s stupid when people do that, until something happens where they end up doing it themselves. And I’m not going to say that I won’t be that way, because I probably will, you know? But I hate it, and I will try not to. But the thing is this… though all your friends forget you, God will not forget you. He is always there, even when you don’t want Him to be.
I don’t know. This is the kind of stuff I have been thinking about. And hopefully that all kind of followed a theme and made sense to you… and wasn’t just a bunch of incoherent rambling.
Tomorrow I have class, and it’s getting pretty late, though. so I am going to go to sleep now.
Be blessed.
[Edit: So there is forgotten, and then there is blown off, which I believe I may have just crossed the boundaries of. Fun times. That’s ok, I’ll go do something awesome later. Once I get this stupid class out of the way… ;)]
Sometime I need to get around to updating that picture. It’s pretty old. And… yeah 😉
I keep having stuff that I want to write about… like just realizations about stuff that I have come to and all.. but then when I finally get around to actually writing it.. I realize… I’m too tired to. It’s weird… like this whole week I have just had like… realization after realization…. which is weird, since I’m really not used to that.
But it is a very cool thing. Maybe I will share some of these with you tomorrow. Not many people seem to read this on the weekends anyway. So yeah.
Have a great day.
So I think I will write a review of sorts on the new Brave Saint Saturn cd. Just because I feel like doing it… gives me something to do.
So here it is.
Review of Brave Saint Saturn – The Light of Things Hoped For…
All in all, this album is definately better then the first album. It is heavier musically, no longer the acousticy stuff that was on the last album… with the exception of one or 2 songs. However, it is very much like the former album in terms of subject matter. It deals with the darker side of things, but it is not depressing at all… It really is very encouraging… and the message of hope that Reese put into the album comes across very clearly. It is just an extremely encouraging cd.
It starts off with the prologue, which sort of sets the stage and the tone of the cd. I thought that the instrumental tracks were really cool, and a nice touch. They were very well done.
The first real song is The Sun Also Rises, which is one of the most upbeat songs on the album. Is a great album starter, and it foreshadows the ending of the album with it’s message of hope.
“I believe the Sun also Rises / Dries our tears / Bringing the blue skies of day…”
Next up is binary, which has changed a good deal from the old live version that was on the Brave Saint Saturn website. While I liked the old version better at first, this one has already grown on me, and I love it. One of the highlights of the cd. It is another song about Reese’s ex-fiance. I think it is some of the best lyrics that he has ever written.
“You hide behind your broken wings / Your dreams are all for better things / And in the dark we climb this slope / ‘Cause the bravest thing of all is always hope / Goodbye, goodbye…”
Next up is Mercury, an instrumental, which is followed by Enamel… which is another song about Christy (the ex-fiance). It is an extremely harsh song (full lyrics are in the last post on this site)… but an extremely good song. Another highlight of the album. An interesting note is that in the line “So here’s to me saying ‘fare-thee-well’, and when you hear this song, i hope it hurts like hell”, that last word there was censored… apparently by Tooth and Nail. If you listen closely though… you can still hear it being said… VERY low in the mix… and I think only in the left channel. I never would have heard it though if I wasn’t listening for it. The uncensored version of this song will be available one the Brave Saint Saturn website. Stupid Tooth and Nail…
“Enamel, is stretched too thin / You’re beautiful, but not beneath your skin…”
Following this song is a song about his current fiance, Stacie. It is called Anastasia, and it is a very pretty song. There’s really not much else to be said about it, it’s a really pretty love song. And I like the line that makes reference to a song on the last album… for some reason I love it when bands do that 😉
“When Anastasia smiles / the world is getting lighter / when Anastasia wakes / the lights come on inside her / and stars will light the path for her tonight / and yes, the moon is burning oh so bright / Anastasia…”
Next on the album is actually my least favorite song, though I like it better now then when I first heard it. And it did get a laugh out of me the first time I heard it just because of the movie clip played at the very beginning of it. Is a clip from War Games, which says “Would you like to play a game?” That was a great movie 😉 Anyway, the song is called Titan. Some people have said it sounds like Skillet. I’ve gotta say… I don’t hear the resemblance. I do agree that it is kind of Linkin’ Park-esque though. Anyway, yeah. It’s a decent song, but definately not the greatest.
Next is another instrumental… followed by Estrella, which is best explained by just typing out what Reese wrote in the liner notes… “This song is about a dear friend of ours, Matt Estrella. Matt suffered from a genetic disease called Neufibromatosis 2, which causes tumors to grow on the myelin sheaths of the outer nervous system. Eventually, the tumors will cause the nerves to stop functioning. Our friend Matt was deaf when we met him. He was losing his sight, and a lot of feeling in the other parts of his body. The tumors were large, and very noticeable in some places. He was almost the same age as I was, but I was living an amazing life for any 25 year old, while he carried this enormous and hideous burden. It seemed that any time I began to complain to God about what I felt was fair or unfair, somehow i would see he never did. His faith was beyond measure, and that is why I loved him. Last spring he died while undergoing an operation to remove one of his many tumors. This is just some stupid song I wrote in the basement. It will never make up for what is missing from this world now that Matt Estrella is gone from it… but it is the best that I could do. Shalom my friend… we will see you again. –Reese Roper- February 4, 2003”
I have known people kind of like that, though not to that extreme… that they have so many reasons to be mad or upset at God.. or feel cheated by him…. and yet they have so much more faith then I do that it really puts me to shame. Thank God for them…
“The angels wings will cover you tonight / Hallelujah / Press your head against the breast of Christ / Hallelujah…”
Heart Still beats is a song that Dennis wrote and does the vocals of, and it shows that he is also a talented writer and vocalist. It’s basically a song about human need. And sometimes seeing that need, and not knowing what you can do about it… It is a powerful song. It was also censored, which really ticks me off in this case, because it ruins the effectiveness of the song, and the entire point of the line. Here is the verse which was edited:
“The man finally comes to the door / I’ve seen him several times / He always looks pissed off / And his sunglasses stay on / I think he got his biceps and tattoos while in prison / And it doesn’t seem to bother him / When he says ‘Go to hell’…”
It was edited to say:
“The man finally comes to the door / I’ve seen him several times / He always looks (really MUTED pi)-ssed off / And his sunglasses stay on / I think he got his biceps and tattoos while in prison / And it doesn’t seem to bother him / When he says ‘go to *record scratches*…”
And the liner notes cut out the phrases entirely. Way to censor, Tooth and Nail. And by the way, great job promoting the album… seeing as like no stores have it and very few people know it exists. You’re a class A record label (note heavy sarcasm).
“And her heart still beats inside / The blood runs in her veins / A remnant of life remains / Her heart still beats inside…”
Enough about T&N… Next song is Babies Breath, which I actually heard last year at Cornerstone when Reese played his solo acoustic set, which was incredible. I really liked the song then, and I like it now… it is one of the lighter songs on the album. I like how it is foreshadowing to the final song also…
“I keep feeling that the strangest peace is all around / In the speechless, in this quiet / Angels never make a single sound / Softest moonlight making garlands, forms the crown / Glassy seas of blue / I will dream of you…”
And next up is I Fell Away, which was originally entitled Icarus, for reasons which are apparent when you hear the lyrics. It’s basically about trying something and failing at it, just because you are human and not strong enough to do it on your own… but that God will lift you up and heal you. I really like the imagery in it.
“Today on fragile wings I tried to touch the sun / as wax and feathers melted / all my dreams have come undone / today…”
The next song is another one done by Dennis… and it is called Recall. It’s about remembering the love of God after you have forgotten about it for so long… It also goes heavy back into the imagery of the “U.S.S. Gloria” theme…. And this, by the way, is a much better done concept album then their previous, which barely qualified as a concept album….
“Like a flicker of light in the back of my mind / It all comes back to me / Like an overdue sunrise / It all comes back to me / I remember your love being better than life / When it all comes back to me / I will sing in the shadows when it all comes back…”
Next is Atropos… another instrumental ;)… is a cool intro into the final song, Daylight. This is an awesome song, reminiscent of other album closers written by Reese… but it is just a really good song. It just demonstrates the fulfillment of hope… the lyrics in the outro are incredible… as well as the raw emotion there….
“Jesus Christ, light of the World / You never did forget me / And When I bled in darkness / You held me, still held me / When desperate nights I cursed You / You loved me, still loved me / Jesus Christ you dry the tears / You break my heart of stone / Your words are life / Cut marrow through the darkness / Through the bone / A heart of flesh You gave me / Only You can save me / Savior / Dayligh / I am coming home…”
And it closes with a final instrumental… Irides of M. A very fulfilling cd-listening experience… which lasts close to an hour. About 52 minutes to be exact.
I hope you buy it… (click the album cover below to do so) and like it… and are encouraged…. and don’t ever forget….
“the bravest thing of all is always hope…” “you are not alone.”
Brave Saint Saturn
The Light of Things Hoped For
Reese Roper is the new holder of the “harshest song ever” award…
“Here’s another song with the four
oldest chords in history,
I guess I lost all ambition turning left on Missouri,
I could have made it better
but the feelings just aren’t there
my heart is cold and black
and I just don’t think I care.
So here’s to me saying “fare-thee-well”
and when you hear this song
i hope it hurts like…
Enamel, is stretched too thin
you’re beautiful, but not beneath your skin
(enamel, like insect shells
so hollow, like your wedding bells.)
The phone lines down in Mexico are
slow and maybe tired
I think all your devotion,
got lost inside the wires.
Well I hope you cannot sleep,
And I hope you cannot smile
and I hope that you are brudened with
your guilt for quite a while
I hope you fall in love,
but I hope your plans are thwarted,
and I hope that now you’re back,
it’s because you were deported.
Enamel, is stretched too thin
you’re beautiful, but not beneath your skin
(enamel, like insect shells
so hollow, like your wedding bells.)”
-“Enamel,” by Brave Saint Saturn
So today really flew by pretty fast. I woke up around 11 cuz I was feeling kind of sick last night and so I didn’t go to my first class today…. then I went into the studio to help set stuff up at around oh… 2ish… got out of there near 5:30ish to 6ish. And it wasn’t until about oh… 7 or 8 that it really felt like the day had actually started. So here I sit, at 3:30 a.m. typing to you… and I’m starting to get a little tired… my contacts have killed my eyes so they have been removed 😉 so I can barely see as I type this.. but… oh well. I figure if I am to remain awake I need to have them out to give my eyes a break before I need to put them back in again when I go to class. I don’t think I am going to sleep tonight, unless I get to a point where i just can’t be up anymore. Why? crew call at 7:30… which means breakfast at 7.. which means I’d have to wake up by 6:30… yes, it takes me that long to get ready when I wake up that early…. but only because I move at about a hundreth of my normal speed.
So this probably isn’t going to help with the whole being sick thing.. but what are you going to do?
Oh yeah, and when I was on the decapolis message board earlier someone posted asomething about rating their picture on hotornot.com… so i clicked on it and rated it. and then another picture came up.. and so i clicked on another number…. and then another.. and then another…. i spent far too much time doing that. it’s really incredibly sad to think about. i really need a girlfriend 😛
so anyway, i think that that cursed estrogen is like a drug. i am addicted to it, and am suffering from withdrawal…. all the symptoms are there folks. cursed, cursed estrogen…… and those that bear it.
I also am trying to figure out when i am going to get the bs2 cd tomorrow. want to get it before i am through with classes…. but i don’t have very much time in between. I will figure out a way though. Oh yes, I will.
And now, off to find something worthwhile to do at 3:30…. maybe I’ll go wake up the security guard from his nap again. then I can piss him off 2 nights in a row… 😉
[Edit (6:40 am): Well that was disappointing. At some point I decided I would watch the sunrise this morning, since I was up and everything…. Generally I miss it by about 20 minutes on tuesdays… but.. yeah. Anyway, I was all psyched about it… and then… i go out.. and realize.. there are stupid trees and houses in my way. I walked all over campus trying to get around them, but in the end, I was forced to admit defeat. My sunrise-seeing was not meant to be… I could kind of see a little bit over the trees… and that part looked good… so I’m sure it was great… a shame i had to miss out on it.
In just a little bit I get to eat breakfast and then go to crew call though. Both very exciting things. mmmm… breakfast….
Have a great day.]