Here is what was promised just a little bit ago…

Before you read it, here is the idea… You may remember reading “The Hero” a brief while ago… if you have been reading this site for awhile, anyway ;). If you have not read it, go ahead and read it here.

Now, this next poem is sort of a continuation on this. Now, if you didn’t KNOW that, you probably wouldn’t see, it, because, well, it is written in an entirely different style and from an entirely different perspective.

Anyway, my idea for the next several things I will be writing is that they will all be connected… sometimes tightly connected, sometimes more loosely connected.

Is this poem written from the perspective of THE hero? Well, who am I to say? You will have to draw your own conclusion. Certainly it is from one who is like the hero… one who identifies with him.

Let me know what you think.

Untitled as of yet:

“Broken, Fallen on the ground
Betrayed by my own desires
Looking up into your eyes I’ve found
The burning warmth of those olden fires

A failure here, these last years.
Only excercises in futility.
Yet I sense a purpose here
But yet also an impossibility

What is it that your eyes see?
Your vision blurred by tears
I long to see them free
To see the light within so clear

But even so a haze surrounds me
I need a hand to guide me
I thought I could do this on my own
But what little strength I had was overthrown

Broken as I am, how can I hope to heal you?
I cannot leave you here without a hope
I feel your pain, it burns me through
And with these combined my weak heart cannot cope

Perhaps together we will find a way.
If you lean on me, may I lean on you?
But that is too much to hope for today
I pray someday you will see me too.”

Godspeed.

All right. The block is gone, I have finally been able to write something 😉 I am taking a slight break from it for the moment though… and writing this post instead 🙂

Last night I went to the coffee house for a poetry reading. As last time, it was pretty inspiring to me, and I came away with some ideas for writing… though none of them seem to be related in any way to anything I heard there, I came up with them all as I was sitting there… so… yeah, I credit them to it ;).

I am really glad that it is saturday. Due to the extremely long drive back down here… all the rest I got over fall break was pointless 🙂 I have been nothing but EXTREMELY tired ever since I got back down here. So a day to have no need of doing anything but resting is a wonderful thing.

Anyway, expect an update later today, which will contain the writing which I am currently working on.

God speed you.

(oh, and to any guy that may be reading this… this song right below here…. offers you the best advice you will ever hear ;))

“Gazing across the room
I’ll never forget when I laid my eyes on you
And although I have to admit
I wasn’t hoping for this much
My eyes are crazy now that I’ve seen you
And time holds me in distance of you
And next to you is the only place
That I, I’m truly me

I know I don’t deserve you
I hope you don’t take that date
Scratching the surface only creates scars
I hope you don’t dig that far
And I don’t want, want another girl
Even if I have to wait forever
And please don’t forget
Never say never

One life to live
It’s too short to waste it
I spend all my time thinking of you
How foolish of me to do.”

-“As Soon As Beauty Dies,” by dieradiodie

Darn it… I am in FL… so why is it cold? 😛

Actually, it is 64 degrees… but… that’s cold to me, all right?!

Shut up. It’s not my fault I can’t tolerate any cold because I’ve been living in stupid 120 degree FL… 😛

You will note in my pic that my right eye is being very odd. It looks strange in the picture because it looks strange in real actual life. No, I have not been using any illegal substances. For some reason I think my contact is doing mean not-nice things to it.

So today for some reason I have re-entered extreme emo/depressed mood. Not that I am so much depressed, as, I have no better word to describe it… and so I say that. It is an inexplicable thing and it happens from time to time. It does seem to have a bit of correlation to extreme lack of sleep though.

I have also felt like writing all day, but I don’t know what to write about. It is weird. Anyway, maybe sleep will help me figure it out.

Until I do, you can ummm… do the mario!

“Swing your arms
From side to side
Come on it’s time
To go do the Mario!
Take one step
And then again
Lets do the Mario
All together now!…”

-“The Mario,” by Mario

http://www.coca-karma.com

Interesting stuff. I have to go to class. More later.

[Edit: linked it, by request ;)]

so the weather here was actually pretty good today. it was only like low 80’s today. at 11, when i first went outside, it was wonderful. like… the perfect temperature. hurray for not-extremely-hot and also not cold weather. it was freezing in md yesterday morning when we left. heh 🙂

on another note… girls are pretty. and smell good. sometimes. i will take one, please.

have a great day.
eat cheese.

-Jason

[Edit: Ok, I found out about this just now… but I have nothing else to write about, so I am not going to make a new post… so I am adding it to this one 😉 Just figured some people might like to know this… this is straight from the mouth of Reese Roper (who apparently plays guitar, computer, and vocals for Brave Saint Saturn. I didn’t realize the computer was a musical instrument…?):

” Okay,this stuff is all off the record…
– The new B2S record is done, and will be in stores late spring or early summer of 2003. Tooth and Nail was planning on releasing it in December or January, but when they heard it, they got really excited and wanted to spend more time marketing it. Which also makes me happy.

-Five Iron is planning to have the infamous “Joke Record” out in spring of 2003.

– The next “real” Five Iron Album should be out in September of 2003. We have booked studio time in April and May, so it will be out by September.”

Fun times. Except for the Brave Saint album taking longer to come out. I wanted to hear it in January! :P]

[Edit 2: So now I just found out that apparently Cornerstone is officially a full 7 days this year. And also there will be 2 pre-fest events. One in NC, and one in Orlando, FL… the latter of which will be occurring like right at the end of the school year and I will most definately be attending 😉 2 days, 50 bands… sounds good to me 🙂 Ah…. I will get a little bit of Cornerstone to hold me over till the real thing. The only problem is… finding something that will hold me over until THEN. Now that I have discovered all this I am wanting to go to Cornerstone very badly……. ah well…. I guess I will just have to go to chapel instead.]

[Edit 3: Maybe I should just start a new post, but I don’t feel like it. Anyway, this has more to do with Cornerstone… this is by a band called Ween. I don’t know why they want to be your portapotty, but apparently they do for some reason (note: this will make no sense to you whatsoever if you have never been to cornerstone… but otherwise.. yeah :))

‘I’ll Be your Johnny On The Spot
I’ll be your johnny on the spot
I’ll be your johnny on the spot
My daddy died, left me all he’s got
I’ll be your johnny on the spot

I get up early in the morn
I get up early in the morn
I slop the pigs
Momma shucks the corn
I get up early in the morn

I got a chevy with a mopar cam
I got a chevy with a mopar cam
I got a chevy with a-mopar-cam
I’ll be your johnny on the spot

(solo)

I’m goin’ down…’

The end.]

back in florida.  snow.  tired. canadian. sleep.

My contact is driving me crazy.  It won’t let me see clearly and it feels odd.  Luckily, I am going to sleep soon… so hopefully tomorrow it will cooperate with me.

Ok, so I have had access to a computer while up here, as is apparent if you notice that I have commented on here and a few other places… however, I have not been on here so much as to feel any desire to post a new entry until just now… so.. yeah.

Last night I was lost in a corn maze with Josh and Luke.  Luke had a flashlight.  We followed him through the paths in search of the posts…  we found 3… we found 2 of those 3 about 8 times.  We were actually doing pretty well at first….  until we ran into others from our large group that came.  We did not want to join forces with them… and so we ran.  In doing so, we completely lost our sense of direction.  We wandered around in a big circle for like an hour after that.  I had flip flops on.  It was muddy.  It was cold.  One of them broke.  The other one got stuck in the mud somewhere.  Lukes flashlight went dead.  I completed the maze barefoot and without light.  Finally, after much torment, we found the exit.  I was glad.  I have had enough of corn mazes for one lifetime.  We looked at the map once we got out, and realized why the map we had inside had done us absolutely no good.  There was this thing at the bottom of the map that said “The LINES are the paths.”  oooooh, we say.  We thought the the white spaces in between the lines were the paths!  No wonder our map was completely useless.  Needless to say, we felt pretty retarded.

I watched 2 movies today.  The Transporter came first.  It is a really cool movie.  However, he does not deflect a missile as he does in the preview….  so that was disappointing.  I also watched Death to Smoochy… which was not really funny too much…  kind of, in parts, but no really.  It was an interesting movie…. Odd… but interesting.

I will be going back to school on tuesday… so expect to hear from me again by wednesday.  I may write sooner, but I promise nothing 🙂

For now, it is sleeping time.

Later folks.

I am going home for about a week.  I will probably not post at all while I am there, as I do not believe I will have access to a computer at my house.  Leave many comments on this post and my last post.  and stuff like that.

Stavesacre’s new cd is really cool.  Go buy it.  And remember, it is SUPPOSED to cost $13… therefore, refuse to pay more then $14 for it.  Don’t support greedy idiocy.

And now for a really cool song:

“couples gather on the street
no way they notice me
but i watch them walk together
and it reminds me
of nights when everyone was gone
and i ended up alone
nights that were unsafe to hope for anything

lately i have noticed that so much
is not what i imagined it’d be.
when the harder times come calling on us
we’ll know if we’re gonna need

(chorus)
promises
don’t promise me
say yes
say no or yes
but don’t promise

for all the reasons not to try
i can’t forget the times
i swore that if i finally knew
the answers to my prayers those nights
when it came time to decide i’d just know
and i would be ready

lately i have noticed that so much
is not what i’d imagined it’d be
when the harder times come calling on us
we’ll know if we’re gonna need.”

-“Yes,” by Stavesacre

No comments on last night’s post.  That’s ok.  On I go anyway.

Before I get into this, there is something which I think it is important to be explained, because while it SHOULD be common knowledge, I don’t think that it is.  Talking to someone on the phone yesterday, it was mentioned that it is important to be able to read a book and not automatically accept what it says as truth.  You should be able to read 2 totally opposing views and take away from it your own opinion, and not just come away horribly confused.  This also applies to reading the news, listening to the radio, watching tv, etc.  Just because you saw it on CNN doesn’t mean that it’s true.  Just because you read it in your newspaper doesn’t mean it’s true.  By the same token, just because you read it in independent Media, or GNN, or other such things also does not mean that it is true.

I think that we have a perverted sense of Patriotism in modern America.  It is in a state that one who questions the integrity of America in general is seen as an enemy of patriotism.  Just yesterday I read a website where someone said they are very much against a lot of what America is doing.  A lot of that was referring to pop culture, etc.  The response?  Several people came back saying that that person should be grateful to live in America, and how much better off America is then other countries, etc, etc.  The general idea expressed was: America is well off, therefore America is right and you should not question it.

You CANNOT say that because in America we have a high quality of life that America is right.  The two things are completely unrelated.  The fact is, there IS government corruption.  There IS corporate corruption.  There is a LOT that is wrong with America, and I am against ALL of those things.

I do not consider myself unpatriotic, but I do not consider myself patriotic by today’s apparent standards either.

That being said, I do not post this link, which will lead you to other links, to be anti-patriotism or anti-american or anything like that.  I do it to get you to think.  Media does shape your opinion.  If you think the government can’t use media to shape public opinion, then you are naive.  I do not agree with those that say the events of 9/11 were in fact enacted by the government.  I do not believe they had anything to gain by doing so.  If they wanted a war there are better ways of instigating one.  I DO believe that once they had it as an excuse, they used it fully.

Anyway, read this.  You will learn things.  Decide what you think.  This is the view that you don’t see on tv every night.

(click the images and stuff on this page, most every image leads to a different page)

Oh, and read the lyrics below this… sorry they’re all caps, the place I copied them from had them like that… and I don’t have time to correct them right now.

http://www.truthlessheroes.com/911/911.html

Godspeed.

-Jason

“THE ONLY THING I RECALL IS
THOSE SHADOWS COMING MY WAY
CONFORTING ME WITH THEIR SEARCHLIGHTS
TO GUIDE ME HOME AGAIN
“WE WILL TAKE
WE WILL TAKE
THAT WRETCHED HEART AWAY
AND WHEN YOU COME TO
YOU’LL THANK US
FOR THE NEW YOU WE’VE MADE!”

SO NOW I’M LEFT HERE FADING AWAY
FAR AWAY
FAR AWAY
SO NOW I’M LEFT HERE FADING AWAY
FAR AWAY
FAR AWAY
FROM ME

SO NOW I WAIT AS THEY MAKE ME
INTO SOMEONE ELSE
IF I BELIEVE WHAT THEY TELL ME
I’M TIRED OF BEING MYSELF
‘CAUSE THEY TAKE AND THEY TAKE
A PIECE OF ME EVERY DAY:
“AND WE WILL HELP YOU BELONG HERE
WITH THIS NEW YOU WE’VE MADE”

IF YOU CAN AMPUTATE MY HEART
THEN I WILL LEARN TO SMILE AND THEN
YOU CAN REPLACE ME WITH YOURSELF
AND I’LL BECOME THE MODEL CITIZEN
AND I WILL TELL THEM ALL
THAT I HAD THIS BREAKTHROUGH SURGERY
THEY GIVE YOU A PILL
THEN REMOVE YOUR HEART
AND REPLACE IT WITH A BATTERY”

-“Soma,” by Project 86

In reading a message board tonight, I came across a post which suggested that America is now in a state that is too far gone for redemption.  That it has become a modern day empire, and it is at a point where it is only a matter of time until it falls.

So I wonder, what if they are right?  What would life be like in a world Post-America?

More along the lines of this coming soon.