Xanga Archive

So I updated the picture over there.  I was playing with my camera and I thought that looked kind of cool.

I am in a really weird mental state right now….  last time I was like this…. Mexico City, last summer.   Then it was because of the awe I was in because of the stuff I had seen.  What God did there, in my presence.  I am not sure what is the cause of it tonight, other then contemplation.  It is an incredible feeling though…. I don’t want to go to sleep because I know I won’t have it anymore once I wake up.

It’s funny how you have certain memories… like some things get forgotten quickly…. other things you remember forever.  Sometimes it makes sense why you do, other times it doesn’t.  Like I remember this one speciffic time when I stayed home from school sick, when I was in like…. the 2nd grade…. in vivid detail.  Like every aspect of the day, I remember.  Why?  I have stayed home from school sick COUNTLESS times.  Why remember that one?  And those things totally shape our perspective.  Mexico changed my outlook tons.  Anybody who saw the types of things i saw there would be changed by it.  It just gives a bunch of things totally new meaning….  like there’s this song, that was used in the video that was made to show our church what we did while we were there…. and now every time I hear it I think of our time down there…. it’s by Brave Saint Saturn, and it’s called “Under Bridges”…. and one part of it goes “Under Bridges / With Hands Raised / From the ghettoes they praise His name / Broke and crippled in the dark of night / Raise your voices to Jesus Christ.”  The song fits the scenario well.  While in our case there was no bridge, everything else fits perfectly.

Songs definately are tightly linked in with memory….  hearing a song can bring back tons of stuff…  I think that’s one of the reasons I like music so much.  I really do have a passion for it….  I wish I could play it well.  I’m going to do something about that.

I have this list of goals… not actually like… written out anywhere or anything like that… but… in my head.  Things about me that I need to change, things I want to do, etc.  It used to be a lot longer.  I have made so many changes in the last year….  and I am so much a better person for it.  But there is still some stuff.  I am making progress in some areas though.  So that is good.  Anyway, the guitar thing is one of those things on my list…  and in the last couple days I have been making a bit of progress in it…  so I am encouraged by that a good bit.  I just hope I have the perserverance to keep doing it even when it seems like I’m getting nowhere and get discouraged.  That’s something else I need to do….  develop some more perserverance ;).

I’m sure I’ll write another post in like 2 minutes… but that’s all for this one 😉

More soon.

-Jason