Xanga Archive

So, save a few peoples’ comments this page has been completely dead for the past 4 days or so.  Believe it or not, there was actually a reason behind it.  In a way, it was just an act of exasperation because I was really frustrated about some stuff… but basically, it was me leaving, taking some time to think.  Did I ever intend to kill the page off completely?  Maybe when I first did it.  But not so much after then.

Now then, the first thing I would like to write about now that I am again, is a little to due with conflicts, misunderstandings, and stuff like that.  No matter how well you get along with someone, or how good of friends you are with them, you WILL have an occasional conflict with them, whether it be a big one or a small one…. whether it is over something important or something stupid.  In fact sometimes those you love the most are the ones you have the most conflicts with (especially when it comes to stupid unimportant things).  Now, conflicts in and of themselves aren’t neccesarily bad things.  It’s what we do as a result of them that can make them bad.  If handled properly, conflicts can be resolved, and all parties involved can grow and become more understanding as a result of them.  If handled improperly, they can cause a great deal of unneeded hurt, stress, etc.  And there are also some things which get in the way and cause even more unncessary problems which make it yet more difficult.  One of these is misunderstanding.  Sometimes this is even what STARTS the conflict, but it certainly does make things worse once the conflict is already started.  Things that are said or done are misinterpreted.  Something someone may have said with no malicious intent whatsoever may be heard or read differently by the recipient, and it may hurt or wound them.  Another problem is (and I’m inventing this term right now) “Third Party Conflict Solvers”.  You know what I mean…  the person who feels it is their divine duty to stick their face in other people’s conflicts and work them out for them even though they were uninvited to do so, and themselves have very little idea as to what is actually going on in the heads of the people who are in conflict.  A message to these people… the thing is 1.) You don’t know what’s going on.  Surface value is seldom the real issue at hand.  2.) If I want you to help, I will ASK for your help, and I will also tell you things so that you will understand what is going on with me.  3.) If you give me unwanted help, I am not going to listen to what you are saying anyway.  All you are going to do is successfully make me pissed off at you.  4.) Certain people even take it upon themselves to pass judgement on one of the parties whom they do not even know.  When you do this, it really makes you look like an arrogant jerk.  Cursing people out and flaming them really isn’t a good way for you to “help”.  For example, though he has only ever said 1 thing to me, and I have no idea who he is, every time I see the name “outsider332” on here, I automatically think of him with contempt.  To me, he is just some jerk that deserves no credibility whatsoever.  Does that mean it’s true?  Not really.  I don’t know if it is or not.  I don’t really know who he is, I only know what I perceive him to be, based on the perception he gave me.  But I do know that he needs to check out some issues between himself and God if he’s going to be acting that way to people and calling himself a Christian.

So in short…. Though I have said it to her already, sorry to Aubrey, and no thanks to the people who felt it their place to resolve the conflict for us.

More coming soon I’m sure.