Xanga Archive

Today was the last day of the play. It was fun. Matinees suck so bad though… lol 😉 The fact that it’s bright outside ruins everything.

Anyway though… I was over there from 1:30 to 6:40 (in the chapel). It was quite the long day. Tearing everything down and putting all the chairs back was a major pain… but.. what can you do? 😉

The cast party at Pizza Hut was a lot of fun though. Talked with a group of people sitting near me for a long time. We stayed there till they closed… while everyone else had already left 😉 heh… Oh, and we kind of watched the Simpsons while we were there… but.. it was hard to follow what with all the distractions… but it also seemed kind of disappointing, for a halloween special. Oh well.

But.. I hope to see the people from the play who aren’t in any of my classes around campus some… for they were all really cool. And some of the conversation tonight was really encouraging…. people I actually identify with ;). Those seem to be few and far between down here.

Things can be a huge struggle sometimes. I hate not being able to convince people of what I know to be true…. I hate to be condemned based on what other people have done. I hate it that people go to school to become pastors or youth pastors and fail to be moral at all and have pathetic relationships with God. Honestly, people like that are what is wrong with Christianity. I don’t know. This is a combination of a bunch of thoughts that I’ve had throughout this week. Honestly though… knowing that some people are ministry majors …. it can be a disturbing thought.

“i only wanted such a little thing
only simplicity
and now that i am who i was taught to be
you have abandoned me
i held so tightly to every word you said
that’s the price of the respect you’ve always demanded
and all those things i’ve gathered through the years
have no value here

(chorus)
i need to find a place where i can breathe
somewhere high above this empty landscape
where the air is clear
and i need to find it while i still can

in a world like this
how can you wonder at my sadness?
now i hope for something beautiful
but i feel trapped under your waves of wreckage
and if i cannot claw my own way through
i fear one day i will be just like you

in this land of vacant stars
in the backseats of desperate cars
in single-mother topless bars
we ache for something more
your sons and your daughters
are unwilling martyrs
to the devils, priests, and other thieves
and their wars and rumors of war
i need a handgun and a hand grenade
to protect me from those who keep me safe
still i remember you straight face:
“Some day this will all be yours.””

-“A Place Where I Can Breathe,” by Stavesacre