Wow… I really feel a lot better then I did about an hour ago. Venting stuff can be a really good thing.

Life can be very frustrating at times. Especially when you hate something about who you are and are trying to change it and since people already accept you that way and expect you to be that way they make it even more difficult for you to. I guess people shouldn’t assume that just because you are a certain way that you are content to be that way.

Is kind of funny though, there is something that is constantly bugging me. I guess first you have to understand that I have a tendancy to dwell on the negative. But anyway, I think I figured out what it actually comes down to. I think that I lack trust that God will provide everything that I need. I guess in all honesty I haven’t come to the point where I am content with just God and anything else is an added bonus. Am working on it though.

Maybe once I get there everything else will fall into place. I wish change were easier… but I guess anything worth doing is worth the effort.

I’ll figure out something, I guess.

Anyway, now that I have said all that… here is a great interview I read earlier today. It is another Pedro the Lion one. Definately read this though. He explains a lot of his opinions and whether you agree with him or not, it makes you think, and thinking is good for you, no matter what media might tell you. [ click here ]

Oh yeah, and as you can see I finally got rid of that horrid picture… 😉

“Thoughts pass by like a river flows
Must be hard to keep track where you came from.
I’d float down stand right next to you
Something is causing a lull in the traffic.
An empire is moving, the grass overgrown
I’d blow this whole world to pieces to not be alone.
This shovel’s been digging all day long
Can’t even seem to make a scratch.
Scratching the surface,
What is the purpose?
I’ll always be stopped by the why can’t I
Why can’t I be you?
And put those hands away
I go through this everyday.

Sounds like a radio tuned to white noise.
Softer slowly softer.
Can’t this thing go any faster and
For everyone to see it’s only killing me.

Awake in this cold cell I,
I just hope you’re happy.
Awake in this cold cell I
Break my body against the wall.
Awake in this cold cell I,
I am my only devil.
Why can’t I be you?
And put those hands away
I go through this everyday.

Sounds like a radio tuned to white noise.
Softer slowly softer.
Can’t this thing go any faster and
For everyone to see it’s only killing me.”

-“A Blank Page Empire,” by Further Seems Forever

3 thoughts on “”

  1. “people shouldn’t assume that just because you are a certain way that you are content to be that way”   i think that’s a GREAT POINT.  i also think you should try cocoa butter. you’ll become a believer. just wait and see.

  2. I’ll be praying for you man…I completely see where your coming from…I’ve been kinda dealing with that too..I’ll find something I want to change..but people are so use to it..that when they do it too…what are you do because they are so use to you doing the same….it’s hard..but you’ll pull through and be a better person in Christ!

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