you know those days when you hate absolutely everything that has anything at all to do with the female gender? yeah, you know what i’m talking about. you’d rather vomit then have to be around or talk to a female. yeah. today isn’t one of those days. it’s kind of like the opposite. i would very much like one of them right now. no reason in paticular i guess, i just was thinking that when i was walking around outside earlier. it would have been nicer to be walking around with some girl. but unfortunately, girls don’t like me. and i only like girls who end up liking someone else… so i can’t ever even really try to convince them that they like me, because first they have to become convinced that they don’t like that other guy. it is a sad, sad life. i don’t know why i’m writing this, it’s dumb. but hey. maybe a girl will read this and like me out of pity. there’s always a chance I guess. And I am always willing to take pity.

But really I am just really tired, and so I started doing too much thinking, which is never a good thing.

So remember to sleep more and think less.

Godspeed.

Yay, I have free time now.

I missed it.

But I probably should be writing a paper… oh well, I will do that tonight, because right now… I feel like doing nothing of importance.

Anyway…. I leave you with this poem by Andrew Schwab, which comes from his new book, Do Not Disturb:

“I have a question for all of you
That I can’t quite seem to put into words
I said something that you wanted to hear
Without thinking about the consequences
Is it better to be a false prophet
Than an honest sinner?

What if I told you
I was really a fallen angel in disguise?
Would you stop interceding?
The sad answer is…

You never knew
That I am nothing to you
But a reason to
Make excuses without having a clue
We have all passed the obvious
The simple, the pragmatic
In case you haven’t noticed

We let all the others sink
In our celebration
Sorry, but I won’t be confined with the rest

Yeah, it’s better to be a false prophet
Than an honest sinner
At least that’s what they tell me
That you’ve got to be a winner

But little do you know
That every jot, every tittle
Is a fragile confessional
Every word, every note
Had been an admission of guilt
For all the curious eyes
And guilty little consciences

Would it be easier for me to tell you what you want to hear?
No.
Every lyric, every spittle
Is an admission of failure
Every word, every thought
Every single lonely letter of invasion
A testimony, A journey
That will live when I am forgotten

Forgotten soon

But this will last forever

Underneath the fluorescent dim
Of the booth, the confessional
My steady stream of tears
For you to eat
Like rotting roadkill
Or a decaying seagull

There is nothing beautiful
About the process of undoing
You have to know the depths
You can sink to
Before you can conceive of
The true

And while the benign
Conceive of pleasure
For the hungry
But offer only an empty bucket
With a drop or two of urine
Never realizing that we have all
Past the ordinary
It takes a jackhammer to the spine
A dying relative
A cancer in the colon
And the deepest betrayal
To garner your attention
Whether you like it or not

It is how, now
The only
Thing
Left
To Hold

But still
You would rather
Hear the endless proselytizing
Of a false prophet
Than the open heart
Of an honest sinner.”

-“Do NOT Disturb,” by Andrew Schwab

There’s nothing quite like spending all day in the studio.

I am kind of tired of being there for today, but, I have to go back.

It’s not really too bad, I like it…

Just, I don’t want to be there till midnight like I think I will be….

And I have to work in the morning 😛

Ah well.

*goes*

[Edit: btw, I refuse to disclose the results of the “gender identity” test thing on emode.com…. they are clearly flawed in some way. that is all.]

I am back at school.

Charlotte is even crappier then Atlanta.

School is better then being in Charlotte.

I have way too much to do in these last few weeks, I wish I could have just stayed at home and let the semester finish itself.

Oh yeah, what has been on all your minds:

I used my cap for the free 20 oz. coke.

And no…

Unfortunately, the coke which I received did not have a new free 20 oz. coke cap on it.

I was hoping to get free coke for the rest of my life via that cycle.

Alas, alas.

It was not to be.