About a week ago I experienced something I haven’t for awhile, which I used to experience all the time. I had a night where I just couldn’t fall asleep despite being tired because my brain just wouldn’t shut up. I guess you could say it was in “nostalgia mode”. I was just thinking about past events, primarily around the time I was in college. I guess because that was a time when things could have gone in a lot of different ways.
That inspired me to look at some of my old Xanga posts. Xanga has been dead for awhile, but I was able to export my old Xanga blog before it disappeared forever. It’s generally rather embarrassing, but if you want to see it, it’s at http://www.darkestlight.org/xanga/. Embarrassing as it is to look back at, it makes me want to document my life better. I’ve been terrible at blogging in recent years, and I’m hoping to perhaps get a bit better at it.
The other thing that I’m trying to figure out how I want to use is Facebook. Maybe 2 or 3 years ago I deleted my facebook account, but then more recently I created a new one strictly for groups – in particular there was a group for a podcast I listen to called Lord of Spirits. After I went to a camp for adult Orthodox Christians, I decided I’d add people from there as friends. Before that, my policy had pretty much been to not add any friends, though there were one or 2 exceptions. I guess the Orthodox world is small enough that then some folks from my church saw me and sent requests and I added them as well – and at some point one of my friends noticed I existed on Facebook and I decided to add them – which resulted in several more sending requests. So it’s been slowly reeling me back in.
That said, I very rarely post anything to my wall. In fact, the only thing I remember posting was something on St. Patrick’s Day… and also I’ve only occasionally posted comments on other people’s posts. For the most part I’ve stuck to groups.
However, since adding people as friends, I’ve been reminded of why I left Facebook to begin with. The primary reason was the feeling that it was a false sense of connection. People sent me friend requests, and I added them, but there’s not been a message sent to say “hey, it’s been awhile, how are you doing?”, or anything of the like. And so, I feel like the same problem still remains.
I’d like to really and truly reconnect with my friends, but I don’t know how to make that happen. All people seem interested in is virtue signaling their politics and having a name added to a list.
If you see this, I invite you to send me a message on Facebook Messenger. I *WILL* respond to you. I’d really like to chat, especially if you’re an old friend and we haven’t talked in awhile.