Sometimes I feel the urge to write, but I don’t have a clear idea of what it is I want to actually write about. Now is one of those times. I have a few things floating around in my head, but I’m not sure how or if they fit together, and so… there’s a good chance this will mostly be rambling. We’ll see if anything worthwhile comes out I guess.
Spring, for most people, symbolizes new life, or some kind of change. It’s not really any different for me, but, I really identify this time of year as a season of change for me, more so than any other. This is especially true of Easter and the time period just after it. That time period has only been particularly significant to me for about the past 5 years now. It’s weird that it’s been that long. But that’s not what this post is going to be about… That’s for another post, in about a month’s time. More recently, it was about that time I decided to try to become a bit more active, and lose some weight, which had some definite permanent effects, though I cannot claim complete success. That journey continues, and I need to work on a plan to renew my efforts in that area.
This year, though, I find myself focusing a great deal on the spiritual. I mentioned in a recent post that I am reading straight through the Bible. Today I finished with the Pentateuch. While I would say I’ve probably read about 99% of the narrative portions of the Bible at some point (that is to say, everything that isn’t lists of laws or numbers of people in armies or tribes, or genealogies, etc.), I have never done it straight through. It’s interesting, and I find it to be challenging in different ways. I don’t want to get into specifics here, because I want to sort of resolve things in my own mind first… but for now I will simply say that I am starting to see the Bible in a bit of a different light than I did before. I think reading it straight through is something that would be valuable for any person… and I also think it’s valuable to try your best to cast off any of you preconceived ideas or notions about God and the Bible before doing so as well.
I used to like to go through my old Xanga blog and read posts from there. Sadly, it seems to be gone. I’ve always been one for nostalgia, and there were lots of things in there about what I believed at the time, and how my beliefs were changing at the time. It’s interesting to think back on those times when my beliefs shifted in major ways, and to sort of see it happening again. I think back to some earlier times and some of what I believed then was kind of silly. Of course, I probably still have some kind of silly beliefs, and I’ll need to go another several years before I find a few more to root out.
It’s not without its challenges. Especially when so much of it has to do with things that you see as mysterious that certain people who you know and trust seem to see as definitive. It’s enough to make you doubt your own doubt about certain things.
Eventually I’ll write more about all of this, but this will have to suffice for now.