{"id":91,"date":"2015-01-07T08:33:49","date_gmt":"2015-01-07T08:33:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/darkestlight.org\/b\/?p=91"},"modified":"2015-01-07T08:33:49","modified_gmt":"2015-01-07T08:33:49","slug":"you-are-partly-right","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/darkestlight.org\/b\/you-are-partly-right\/","title":{"rendered":"You Are Partly Right"},"content":{"rendered":"

Lately I\u2019ve been slowly reading through a book called \u201cThe Art of Communicating\u201d by Thich Nhat Hanh. \u00a0Why would I read such a book? \u00a0Well, because I often feel like I\u2019m pretty terrible at accurately communicating my thoughts to people. \u00a0When it comes to the written word, when I have time to think about exactly what I want to say, it comes out pretty good most of the time. \u00a0But, there are instances where I feel helpless to communicate exactly what I am trying to say even then. \u00a0I tend to write very haphazardly as well. \u00a0While I\u2019m writing a post such as this one, I will go back and insert a new sentence or paragraph here or there, or decide a different order works better and copy and paste things around. \u00a0So when it comes to speaking, where I only have one shot at it, I just am not as good. \u00a0I tend to hang on to whatever I have to say perhaps a little bit too long as I think it over before I actually say it. \u00a0I think this certainly CAN be a good thing, but it can also be a bad thing. \u00a0At the very least I rarely blurt out anything that I immediately regret.<\/p>\n

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Anyway, I saw this book and was interested as I had found the only other book of his I had read \u201cLiving Buddha, Living Christ\u201d to be pretty interesting, and so I thought it might be beneficial. \u00a0And I was right\u2026 although I feel like it hasn\u2019t really addressed things I was expecting it to (at least not yet, I\u2019m only about half way through.)<\/div>\n
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I like the idea he expresses that the goal of all communication should be to cause the other person to suffer less. \u00a0I\u2019m not sure this should be applied to literally all communication, but certainly in most of our personal conversations with friends. family, and acquaintances this seems like a pretty good goal. \u00a0At the very least, being mindful of how your words are effecting those hearing them is a valuable thing.<\/div>\n
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Last night I read through a chapter on \u201cmantras\u201d. \u00a0If you aren\u2019t familiar with Thich Nhat Hanh, he is a Buddhist, and so much of the book comes from a Buddhist perspective, though he often invites or suggests you think of things in other terminology if that suits you better. \u00a0In any case, he refers to these mantras as \u201cmagic formulas\u201d. \u00a0I don\u2019t know if he really means it in a literal sense, but if he does, and I get the feeling that he does, I don\u2019t really agree with that. \u00a0However, I can see the benefit of all of them, and I could see how they could be something akin to a magic formula in terms of their being extremely likely to bring about a desired effect if used appropriately.<\/div>\n
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All of these mantras are simple phrases that are meant to be said to another person. \u00a0He starts with things like \u201cI am here for you\u201d and then, \u201cI know you are there, and I am very happy.\u201d \u00a0They are mainly about acknowledging the value of the other person and their importance to you. \u00a0Now, they also strike me as things that would often seem quite weird if carried out exactly as he suggests. \u00a0But I think the principles behind them are quite worth learning from.<\/div>\n
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He gives a total of 6 of these mantras, and the one that I found to be the most striking is the 6th one. \u00a0\u201cYou are partly right.\u201d \u00a0This one is a bit different than the others, as it is meant to be said in reply to praise or criticism. \u00a0It\u2019s about a balance between false humility and hubris. \u00a0Depending on the person, it can be easy to think very highly of one self to the point of arrogance, and for others, and I must admit I fall into this camp, it can be very easy to think very little of themselves, to the point of self deprecation. \u00a0This mantra is about recognizing and admitting the truth to yourself in either circumstance. \u00a0Whether the person sees good or bad in us: \u201cYou are partly right. \u00a0You know that I have other things in me too.\u201d \u00a0He goes on to write \u201cSo we accept ourselves with all our weaknesses, and then we have peace. \u00a0We don\u2019t judge ourselves; we accept. \u00a0I have these qualities and these weaknesses, but I will try to improve slowly, at my speed. \u00a0If you can look at yourself like that, you can look at others like that too, without judgment. \u00a0Even if that person has many weaknesses, he also has many talents, many positive things. \u00a0No one is without positive qualities. \u00a0So when others judge you wrongly, you have to say that they are partly right but they have not seen the other parts of you. \u00a0The other person only sees part of you, not the totality, so you don\u2019t have to be unhappy at all.\u201d<\/div>\n
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For some reason, it\u2019s hard (for me at least) to give yourself credit for your positive qualities. \u00a0There is only a focus on the things that you\u2019re not good at. \u00a0Then any time someone points out one of those things, it stings all the more. \u00a0This is definitely something I want to work on\u2026 to be mindful of the good things about me as well as the bad. \u00a0And then especially to recognize when someone else only sees part of me\u2026 \u00a0and then with that hopefully I will realize that I \u201cdon\u2019t have to be unhappy at all.”<\/div>\n
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Lately I\u2019ve been slowly reading through a book called \u201cThe Art of Communicating\u201d by Thich Nhat Hanh. \u00a0Why would I read such a book? \u00a0Well, because I often feel like I\u2019m pretty terrible at accurately communicating my thoughts to people. \u00a0When it comes to the written word, when I have time to think about exactly … Continue reading You Are Partly Right<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-91","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/darkestlight.org\/b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/91","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/darkestlight.org\/b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/darkestlight.org\/b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/darkestlight.org\/b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/darkestlight.org\/b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=91"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/darkestlight.org\/b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/91\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":92,"href":"https:\/\/darkestlight.org\/b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/91\/revisions\/92"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/darkestlight.org\/b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=91"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/darkestlight.org\/b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=91"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/darkestlight.org\/b\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=91"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}